A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it wrong to chat online "face book" or send txts via cell phone to friends and exs whom you'd hooked up with? esp, when your in a committed relationship or officially engaged? we've been together more than 2.5 years, and everythings going really well. Recently we got engaged,planned our future together.She says, she loves me and wanna spend the rest of her life with me while i felt the same... we're getting married next year. But theres this little things that bugs me sometimes, whenever we're together, i have noticed that some of her former hook buddies text her or send messages in facebook. I told her it made me a bit uncomfortable and then she says theres nothing more than just saying hi and normal conversation. She says nothing will happen and they will remain just friends. But i don't know why i feel this way, please help me if i am wrong...thnks
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for those words means alot to me. Lastnite we'd a talk and everythings seems undercontrol.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (20 March 2010):
 mmmm;.. hard to dump your friends and walk away from your past... if you demand this of her, she'll probably feel a bit lonely and also suffocated..
Some people like to bury their past, some don't have no problems with keeping people that were once been important in her life. Will she be happy when she's only allowed to talk to people you feel comfortable with?
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (20 March 2010):
 Facebook is just another way to hook up with people and mascarade it as "keeping in touch" with friends. It wrecks havoc in most committed relationships because you are putting yourself out there, I don't care how you want to sugar-coat it, and people of the oppposite sex with make advances; most don't care if you're in a so-called relationship (most will figure you wouldn't be posting on facebook if you were that interested in that relationship). Ex girlfriends/boyfriends have a perfect opportunity to find you and "connect". Where's the good in that? It's become an acceptable way of list yourself, much like you would in a personal ad, but call it something else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2010): You are not wrong, but neither is she. If you feel insecure about it make sure she really knows how you feel about it. She should be able to talk to her friends though. It is a fine line you are walking on you don't want to upset the person you love, but at the same time you don't want them to upset you. There may be some kind of compromise in there if you two talk about it. I would only be worried if she tries to lie about the messages, or hides things from you. It is probably what she says it is, just friendly chatting.
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