| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I am 20 years old and yes still a virgin. I am currently a sophmore in college and I live in a fraternity. Lately I've been trouble by this issue because of being randomly called out on numerous occasions by my fraternity brothers. I already get ridiculed enough by them and admitting to the fact that I am a virgin would only make the jokes more hurtful. Plus I am afraid that since they are my "brothers" they will try to pressure me into something I am not comfortable with i.e. telling drunk girls to help me out. I have respect for women and I would never want to take advantage of them. How do I deal with this issue?
View related questions:
drunk, still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (17 December 2006):
 If you didn't want to be pressured by your frat brothers, why did you join a fraternity? Unfortunately this is what many fraternaties are about. They are a haven for people who need to be part of a group (at that age) in order to feel like 'they belong'. You sound like someone who is capable of more than that. Either step up and make this fraternity work for you and what you want by not giving in to peer pressure, or consider leaving (either to a better fraternity or no fraternity at all).
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): an person alone is intelligent a mass of ppl or a pack of brothers are simply dumb (check some sociology books)
If you really dont like wat you "brothers" are doing to you...you better off stay alone(this is not a good advice)
anyways you can do two things stand up under ur feet...if they are your friends they respect you in this aspect if not you will make a lot of "enemies" the years while u there.
Best solution in my point of view is meeting all kind of ppl while in there plus your old enuff to have some discernment with what friends/brothers you should hang up with.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2006): This is an age old tradition in fraternity houses I am here to tell you, it went on 20 years ago when I was in college...I saw many a young sweet man, just leaving his mother's arms to be turned into a first class jerk by the goading ridicule of his so called brothers.
Just realize that this is form of hazing that was supposed to be done away with in the 70's, but never really completely took hold in the Greek system.
Although I think there are many positive things to be said about being a memeber of a fraternity or a sorority, the pressure to abuse and use women is a really seemy underside of this life that just won't seem to go away.
I think it stems from a really adolescent way of thinking, it is a refusal to grow up and be responsible, it is like saying I am going to live in neverland as Peter Pan for as long as I can, and the world is my oyster and I am accountable to no one except my brothers and my fraternity.
This is ridiculous. There will be other men in your fraternity who feel just as repulsed as you do by this attitude of using women as some sort of pawn in the game of staying adolescent for 4 more years...just resist the temptation to join in the fun because you will not like yourself if you give in to it Consider it a test, there are many that will be put to you in a fraternity, it is a way of seperating the men from the boys....if you stick it out long enough, you will see what I mean, the boys will flunk out or become alcoholics or divorced after a year of marriage...the men will be great boyfriends, husbands and great people who achieve their goals....just ignore this pressure and try to stay true to who you are and who your mother raised you to be....it sounds stupid, but Mom is always right.
...............................
|
