A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am sexually active for 1 year with my ex-bf. I told my current bf that I am a virgin and I gone through the hymen restoration surgery 3 months ago. We plan to have sex next week after a party and I worry he will hurt very bad like my first time. Will the tearing of restored hymen hurt? He is a lot bigger than my ex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010): WOW i just wana know if yu had sex with him or not and if so are u still together now
A
female
reader, chloeapple  +, writes (25 February 2010):
Oh honey- If you felt strongly enough about the issue to have surgery, are you sure it is the right thing to have sex with this boy so quickly after getting it done?
Also, I would be very surprised if, after only three months, your body has fully recovered yet. Surgery such as hymenoplasty is a major surgery, and your body needs time to recover. Sex will be even more painful (as skin may be more tender and may still be bruised) and there will most likely be bleeding. (Im not trying to scare you, its just that these are things that may happen). Why have you lied to your boyfriend about this, and why get such an invasive surgery and undo it so quickly?
I do not think you have a very healthy attitude towards your body or sex, and I have some questions for you to perhaps think about.
First, Do you love and trust this boy? You do not trust him to deal with the fact that you are not a virgin, you have taken away his ability to make a choice as to whether he wants to have sex with you so soon after a surgery. You've lied to him about you life experiences. It doesn't quite sound as though you've considered his feelings.
Second, Why put yourself and your body through so much pain and stress????
my sweet girl- there is nothing wrong about no longer being a virgin. Hymenoplasty isn't a magic wand, it doesn't make you a virgin, it makes you look like one, if you are in an environment where your real feelings and real experiences (which make up who you are) are not respected, then you are not in a safe, healthy environment.
My advice is to tell this boy the truth, or, if that is a big ask at the moment, tell him you are not ready yet- it is fair better to disappoint him than put yourself through pain.
You never need make an excuse, you never need to lie about yourself, those who love you should never make you feel otherwise.
take care darling, please be careful with yourself xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): Oh my oh my. The things we humans do to ourselves in the name of "religion". I would imagine if reconstructive surgery restored it to its original configuration then you will experience the same sensation.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (24 February 2010):
It will probably hurt like the first time. But why did you restore your hymen if you are going to destroy it again for another boyfriend? I'm assuming you are Muslim and you did this for your future husband? If so, then in a few months when you break up with this guy that means you will go back to your poor surgeon for more surgery!!! Unbelievable.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek  + ♥, writes (24 February 2010):
 Why don't you ask the doctor not us? And why go to such lengths to deceive someone? Are you that ashamed? I can't believe someone would actually go to that much trouble. And just guessing yes..I would imagine it will hurt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): Hymen restoration surgery seems pretty extreme; why didn't you just tell your current boyfriend that you weren't a virgin? Why do you want to mislead him into thinking he's your first when you've been sexually active for a year?
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