A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am having a hard time with my bf of 6 years we have two kids together i have been feeling so much resentment towards him because we always break up n make up but during those times we break up he often hooks up with other girls and a few times he has cheated. Since we started our family i have not once been with anybody else, I choose not to whenever we break up . He has no problem with hookin up with random girls it gets frustrating to know this and i know i should understand we wasnt together at the time ..but its like he doesnt appreciate how much i am committed in this relationship and how much i love him. It pretty much feels like this is an open-relationship or im just someone safe for him to be with whenever he needs me. I know he loves me and the kids but i dk if it will ever be a one on one relationship instead of me and other woomen ... :( Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Human jimi  +, writes (19 June 2012):
You probably need to move on because people are sick out there he may get in dat scam&pour it on you,so do what is right for you
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (11 June 2012):
 I don't want to lay the blame at your door, when clearly he is guilty. You asked will he change. People rarely make significant changes without some outside force compelling them.
yes he will get older, and with that may come some mellowing, but not always. What you are probably thinking is How can I get him to change? Often a shock will motivate change. Separating from him may provide the shock as well as protecting you and the kids. Taking away his fall back home could be the shock he needs. Asking for child support could do it.
In the end there is no guarantee. You may do all that and he may just move on to someone else. Or worse he may say he is committing and then proceed to cheat on you while you are married to him. Cheaters generally go back to cheating.
I feel I'm giving you no hope. My hope is that now that you are thinking about the long term you will have the right information to make your decision.
FA
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2012): "its like he doesnt appreciate how much i am committed in this relationship and how much i love him."I'm sorry, but he doesn't appreciate your commitment and your love."It pretty much feels like this is an open-relationship or im just someone safe for him to be with whenever he needs me."I'm sorry, but it is an open relationship to him and he doesn't need you, you're just a convenient fallback who will always be available for sex when he can't get laid elsewhere. "I know he loves me and the kids but i dk if it will ever be a one on one relationship instead of me and other woomen ... :("I'm sorry, but he doesn't love you and it will never be a one on one relationship. Why should he change? He knows he can do anything he wants to disrespect and demean and degrade you, because whatever he does you will always take him back. I'm sorry, but for the sake of your kids you need to wise up and smarten up, otherwise you'll continue to set a terrible example for them and they'll eventually grow up to live as adults what they learned as children: men are expected to disrespect women and women are expected to serve as men's doormats. I'm sorry, but the sooner you accept the sad unfortunate harsh reality that he is a worthless scumbag, the better off you and your kids will be in the long run.
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