A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Last night my brother and I (I'm a male) got pretty drunk just hanging out. We both started watching some porn, and discussing things, and, well....we ended up partially having sex. We were both consenting adults, although once we realized what was going on we both stopped and got very upset.He's an emotional person and I'm worried about him, and I feel terrible about what happened. After a couple hours we chalked it up to drunken stupidity. He seems OK this next morning, but I'm not sure. Has anyone had this kind of awkward situation or something similar happen? Will this get easier to think about or am I going to be permanently scarred with this?
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female
reader, katyayni  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 HiI think that now you are talking about your fiancee, right? Well, DO NOT TELL HER ANYTHING. I might get blasted for saying this, but please hear me out. First of all, she is a woman and this will make her insecure about your sexuality (since you are a male and then indulged in.. with another male). Second, this is your brother... who is emotional, right? Even if the lady understood and tried to take it all in her stride, still it will make for uncomfortable conversations around the family table... the relationship between your brother, her and yourself might get self-conscious. This is more likely to unsettle your brother... and her. Just forget the whole issue, bury it deep within and pretend like it never happened. If you truly want to hash it out, then I think that you should talk to your brother about how to break this to her... since this is between the two of you. Trust me, suffer this blame... swallow this whole guilt thing. You might feel better by confessing but that confession will more likely harm a lot of relationships. Often, silence is golden.Best of Luck Love :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): The fallout can take a while. I had something similar happen with a sibling. I was determined to forget about it, and certainly to never talk about it. I shut her down, hard, the couple of times she tried to bring it up, and so it hasn't been mentioned in the 30 years since.
You're both going to be painfully aware that something has changed between you. Over time you get used to it. It doesn't have to be the end of the world, but it's definitely weird for a while.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): Thank you Gina, your word have helped me.
I still have a giant weight on my soul that feels like it'll never leave. He was more concerned with the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend, but to me I haven't even thought of it like that with mine.
I want so badly to come clean about what happened, but I'm almost positive it will mean losing her. We're nearly engaged and she's my everything, but I feel like keeping something like this from her will tear me apart.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
 A drunken mistake can be forgotten but the thing is you have to learn to live with this now that will be the hardest part.
Don't watch porn with him again that way you wont be reminded about what you did, i would also refrain from getting too drunk in his company just in case!
I don't think you will be permanently scarred with it, your young you will get over it, just don't ever think about doing this again with your brother.
Gina
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A
male
reader, Anadin +, writes (4 November 2009):
 lots of incest on the books this month.
you guys where watching porn, ur still young, probably still exploring sex on the whole so you could chalk it up to drunken stupidity. i doubt he will forever be scared by it though. give him his space to come to terms with it though, try not to force the topic when in conversation with him either.
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