A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi there about 18months ago my wife told me she had feelings for her female friend. I took this on the chin and we carried on about a year later she told me she loves this woman but no longer loves me or fancyss me. We no longer have sex she contributes nothing to the upkeep of the house, she is at constant logger heads with the kids and no longer talks to me unless she wants somthing. What should I do next I love her still but quite clearly she is using me and we have no future. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BettyBoup +, writes (29 April 2011):
 Yeah, it's time to separate. She's told you she doesn't love you or fancy you anymore, is having an affair(unless this woman doesn't return her feelings, and it's just one sided. But my guess is, this isn't the case), and yet she doesn't have the desency to separate from you, probably because you support her financially.
You recognise that she is using you and you have no future, its would see m due to the fact she has realised she is gay, so it would make logical sense to divorce. The only thing that has held you back, I'm assuming, is that you still love her. This will make the decision hard for you, but you know this is the best thing to do. Look at it this way, the woman you love doesn't exist anymore, she has changed beyond recognition. You will have to grieve the relationship you had, and it may well be very painful, and take time. But you will come out the other side. You have you children there, and it sounds like you care for them. You will be able to get through this together. I am very sorry that this has happened. No one should have to go through this. But you have to put yourself and your kids first. You deserve love and respect, and your wife isn't showing you any.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 Yup, time for the divorce. It's bad enough that she treats you like crap, but your children too?!? Not cool at all.
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A
female
reader, rocc +, writes (29 April 2011):
Do yourself a favour, please let her go. if she thinks she wants to be with her female friend let her live with her. Its tough to understand but at the same time good for both of you. Kids might have some problems, eventually they will understand.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): I'm sorry to hear this. You deserve and can do so much better than someone who treats you like this. I understand that you love her but don't let it get in the way of common sence. I think the best thing for you is to get a divorse.
Someone worthy of you wouldn't treat you this way. You have been good and understanding about the situation, but ur wife is just seeing this an open invertation to take advantage. Good luck with it and hope you get yourself sorted out
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 April 2011):
Divorce the cow. But before you announce it, get the harshest, cruellest lawyer your money can buy.
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