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Widowed and lonely...

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Question - (5 January 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2010)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

Over a year ago, my husband of 28 years died. I did not realize how lonely and vulnerable I was until now. Four months ago I met a man on the bus that I enjoyed talking to every day for a 30 minute bus ride. Once I accepted his invitation to lunch, he kept stalling and said he was busy. He never called me on the weekends.

Two months later we went for a walk at lunchtime – still no date. He said the real reason he did not take me out was that he had a girlfriend but he was unhappy and was in the process of breaking up. He said he was so upset he went to the doctor and told him about meeting me. The doctor told him to go to a counselor.

Two more months later he took me to lunch and said he was going to make an appointment with a counselor. But he wanted the girlfriend to go with him to learn why he got into such a bad relationship and why he has such troubles with women. His wife left him for another man 13 years ago. He realized he was risking losing me but that he had to settle this before he could date me.

I thought we were soulmates and really had something special between us. The last few weeks he would walk me to work and hug me good bye and then call me later. We had so much in common and we enjoyed the time together.

He changed jobs and no longer takes my bus. I haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks and it is making me sick inside. Should I call or email him and say I was wondering how he is? Or should I leave this one alone? Please advise me as this is my first flirtation in 30 years.

View related questions: flirt, soulmate

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (5 January 2010):

My heart goes out to you for losing your husband; but you cannot begin a new relationship by taking someone's man. There are so many wonderful men dying to meet widows over 50; you just need to know how to meet them. The safest place is the Internet. There are literally thousands of free sites such as connectingsingles.com where men in their 50's/60's are literally panting for over 50's because they are tired of the unreliable young'uns like us. I would say forget this guy and let him work on his relationship. If you decide to have something with him, whose to say he also won't leave you a year from now for someone he met on the bus to work? Join 3 or 4 dating sites, put up a really attractive photo on your profile and have fun. I wish you all the best in your future.

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