A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 1 1/2 years broke up with me last week because he "suddenly" realized that I have a son and he didn't want to be a part of it. He has made some sorry excuses in the past for pushing me away, but then he always comes back with the whole, "I want to be with you" speech. We haven't spoken since he broke up with me OVER THE PHONE, but the other night, I got a message from him online that said, "you're an asshole". I don't get it. I can't figure out what the hell that even means because we haven't spoken, so I called him, but he won't answer. I left a message stating that if he didn't have anything to say then that was fine, but I do and I don't want to say it over an answering machine, but I got nothing. I just don't understand what's going on on his end you know? Any advice?
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, he knew from the very beginning that I had a child and I hav no idea why it's a problem after this long. He is 25 years old and really getting his career going now, and the best part of all of this is that he has been a friend of th family's for years. I have never pushed him into having a relationship with my son because at this point in the relationship, I didn't want an attachment to form if it wasn't the real deal. I would hope that since he lives with my brother, he wouldn't try to jerk me around like that though, but I do agree that h is using my son as an excuse for something else.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Isn't the real question why you are putting up with it?
It is important since he can only behave like an asshole if you let him. I don't think this is about your kid, after all he must have known, but that the kid is just an excuse for jerking you around. Why is he doing that? Frankly? Because he can.
The women who answered pretty much got it. He just wants you on his terms when he feels like it. Bad enough if you were alone but with a kid you need someone a bit more ready to make a choice.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Did you say to him in the beginning that you have a son? Why is it a problem now after all of this time? You are best rid of this selfish pig, just walk away with your head held high. Why do you want to speak to him? Silence is the best treatment for him, and let him stew in his own pig fat!!
take care
xx
...............................
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (28 May 2008):
 you need to allow him to choose for himself. you may want the relationship but need to accept it if he does not. you can't force him to choose different. you want someone who will be with you and your child. sounds like you need a man, not a boy. he may not have the maturity to be in a raising children relationship. you may want his decision to be different, it may not change. take care and focus on you and your child.
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 It seems that 'matey boy' wants you but not your son, but he should realise that your son comes part and parcel of you.
Its him thats THE ASSHOLE not you, he comes accross an immature little boy who is not ready for an adult relationship. Next time he gets in touch, tell him to PISS OFF and go and find another sucker. Sorry to say this but he omly wants you when it suits him.
...............................
|
