A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why would a married woman of 10 years loose alot of weight and start staying out with her friends rather than come home to her family. She says she hasn't done anything wrong, but in her words "she looks so good she just wants to go out with her single friends".
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (29 August 2009):
 Oh dear, well it could well be the female equivilant of the midlife crisis going on then! If she is also slimmer than before, she might just want to make the most of it! Doesn't have to mean she is off elswhere with someone new though.
Let us know how it goes.
A
female
reader, devastated2008 +, writes (28 August 2009):
 I agree with the posted answers... I would hate for you to conclude she's having an affair however I think there's a distinct possibility that she is looking (or toying with the idea) if she's not already involved.If you want to save your marriage, now would be the time for you to step up and aggressively pursue your own self-improvement regime. Instead of attacking her which would be most peoples first instinct... romance, entice and re-create some of your early courtship. And definitely fix anything that she has complained about... take it all very seriously. Don't sit back and try to wait her out... you're in a competition like it or not, so play to win.FYI-You mentioned her wild teens, well research shows that if you had a difficult adolescent transition (rebellious, etc.) you are more likely to have a difficult mid-life transition.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThese are all good answers. However,I feel I need to reply to Hlskitten. The sad truth is my wife lived a pretty wild life as a teenager growing up. Actually her wildness was pretty maxed out by the time we married. I am 5 yrs. older and have not done half the things she has done. I do appreciate your answer as it helps to get other opinions. Thank you.
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A
male
reader, bouncer  +, writes (27 August 2009):
I smell a RAT your wife is having an AFAIR. Believe me i know the signs from personal experience.What you got to do is follow her the next time she goes out with the(girls).No married woman looses weight for her girlfriends its either for her husband or lover.I hope i am wrong for your sake but it looks like she is up to no good
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): Why would a woman do those things? Because she's probably trying to make herself marketable - meaning she probably isn't too happy with the relationship. Why else would you want to look good and hang out deliberately around singles? Towards the end of my ex relationship, I started making more of an effort to look pretty and go out more. Also, when I was single, I worked harder to lose weight and look good and meet people than when I'm with happily with someone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): My sister is going through that. She is living.. She never got to live in the passed. I hope that your partner gets it out of her system, and my sister as well b/c her husband is such a nice person.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (27 August 2009):
Possibly because she feels she hasn't lived. I went through the same thing in my late twenties early 30's. Lost a lot of weight, after having 2 children and being with my partner 10 years. Guess I felt I had a lot of living to do still. We split by the time I was 30 and i'm 38 now and boy oh boy have I done some living in the last few years! Calmed down a bit in the last 2 years. Probably got it out my system I guess.
And have been single and not going out at all in the last year. Just working and bringing up teens.
Might not be the same for your partner, just saying how it was for me.
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