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Why was my ex so nasty to me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 September 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 4 September 2009)
A female Ireland age 41-50, *uzuki writes:

I am so fed up at the minute and can't understand why my ex is being so nasty to me. We recently split up after an arguement and never spoke about it afterwards. About two weeks before we split up someone had left a voice mail on my phone telling me my ex had been playing away, and instead of attacking him about it I took it into my own hands to go and get tested fearing I might have contracted something if he had and decided to leave it like that until the results came back. Luckily enough they were clear. My ex sent me a text to just say hello the other night the first I had heard from him since we split, and I explained to him that this incident had occurred, that I didnt believe he had played away, and that everything was clear all in a nice general chit chat way... well he went mad! He said he didnt give a rats ass what had been said, didnt believe me it had been said in the first place and just went off on one frankly. I actually thought I was being adult about the whole thing but now he has made me feel like a total idiot and its made me upset at his reaction. At the end of the day I had no proof that he was or wasnt playing away and I had no intentions of confronting him because of such..now hes just made me feel like he was, because his reaction was so bad and I just get the feeling attack is the best form of defence when your guilty..? Its over now anyway so it doesnt really matter but I dont like feeling like Im being made out to be some looper...Ive been out with two timers before and it just seems they always get angry when you face them with facts...even if your not aggressive when your trying to reason with them..

View related questions: my ex, split up, text

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A female reader, kayla20 United Kingdom +, writes (4 September 2009):

kayla20 agony auntI think he probably did play away and didnt want you to know which is why he became defensive.id try and move on with your life if i was you and not talk to him

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009):

Right after a break up emotions are raw on both sides. Him getting angry means he cares about what you think and I don't know if it means he was guilty of it or not, but he sure as heck didn't want you to know about it if it were true.

I think the best thing for now is to stop contact all together, do not answer his texts or phone calls, even delete or block his phone number so you don't call in a moment of weakness.

Both of you need time to get over your raw emotions. If it is over then try to move on...even though I know it is easier said than done. Give yourself some time to heal and then get on with it.

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A female reader, sunnycomet Canada +, writes (4 September 2009):

sunnycomet agony auntI know you are hurt from his reaction but like you said it is over now and it doesn't matter.

You ex is nasty cause he either feels guilty or hurt. Guilty is probably the reason.

Just try and forget it and stop contacting him.

Good Luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009):

Your ex is nasty because hes a (insert your own expletive here) long story short.

You sound in control aside from one thing, why would you assume that just because he hasnt got and passed on an STD that he wasnt playing away, in any case good riddance.

Onwards and upwards Lady.

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A female reader, applebite8821 United States +, writes (4 September 2009):

applebite8821 agony auntOh, that's absolutely true. I recently broke up with a cheating bf and I whenever I confronted him calmly about it, I noticed he develops a shortness of breathing and gets angry at me.

I mean, why are they like that? My best guess is, they cannot stand being on the spotlight and on the wrong side. They are embarrassed. Mine wont even look at me in the eye while I confront him. You see, now that I recall these things, I feel so heavy in the heart again and feel like crying.

He made me feel like I was even the one at fault for catching him with his wrong deed.

This is simply their defense mechanism I guess. They feel like they are being fried in the pan and they have to defend themselves by being angry or nasty.

Don't waste time with losers like that...

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