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Why me? Why am I excluded?

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Question - (15 April 2018) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 April 2018)
A female New Zealand age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Everyone I know sees me as boring, esp my younger coworkers and my younger sister and anyone I meet socially, friends of friends etc..aquantances..

Should I cAre and what to do?? ???

No one talks to me, though I to talk them when one to one.

I’m ignored and left out/uninvited 90% time.

Though quiter and have social anxiety, I’m the one to say hi and how are you and genuinely listen. I get zero back.

I’m not needy.

I’m not try hard or full of ego, I’m casual and relaxed.

Was once told I’m easy to chat to.

At work and in social situations people sit and talk in their clique and I’m excluded.

Yes we all like different People but noone likes me

I’m not boring or slow or mentally Impaired or autistic or dumb.

Why me?

Why am I excluded

People are mean and I feel like giving up on them.


View related questions: co-worker

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (17 April 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntHave you thought about taking up new hobbies or interests? Maybe the younger co-workers/ Sister simply don't find much in common with you. They might not mean to leave you out of events. Maybe you could try meeting new people, doing new activities outside of work.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2018):

As people are quick to take advantage if your kindness why dont you develop a secret hobby?

Nothing dangerous or nasty!

As you are empathetic why not get an avatar and answer questions here on dear cupid.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2018):

I must just say though... Even "boring, autistic, dumb, slow and mentally impaired people" need Love ??

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2018):

Hi there. I read your post and I get where you are coming from. Just last night my own daughter answered the phone rudely to me - AGAIN. I've had enough of that crap now myself and always have! Surely one approaches one with kindness? (Especially a mother). When the world has come to this, what do we do? When I said about it she said: " I can't talk to you when you're like this". Like what? I was phoning her up about something and got upset that she had answered the phone as if I was an inconvenience, hated and a fly she had to swat away and she does this most every time I call her, which is very rare because she is so bloody rude. I felt excluded, lied to, rejected, hurt and angry... Again! And these are not positive feelings. Very negative. She had tried to have me feel negative with her absolute callousness. I don't though now, because in the light of day, she chose to reject me. I'm a good, honest person. So it is her loss. Can you see where I'm coming from? This is what people often are like these days and one then doesn't want to interact with anyone for fear of them being cold. But remember, they are the ones who are cold.

People love to talk about themselves, often needing an ear to bend and will certainly bend your ear if you allow them too. (I'm kinda bending your ear, but I hope you understand, not in a bad way?!) I think it's rude how these people are making you feel. What do you do to make an effort to get on with them? Or not! Maybe you could expound? Do you sit with them and strike up a conversation, do they then ignore you? I'd like to know.

I suffer from social anxiety too, quite a bit due to my awful interactions with many people (including my kiddo) which becomes a bit of a catch 22 situation. We got social anxiety for a reason. We are not alone, lots of people suffer with this problem and it has resulted from other people's behaviours toward us. Something was said or done to us in a social one to one experience or with lots of people around or both. So it's hard to fit in. (I often think now that it's best not to fit in with people who have a propensity to being so cold and mean, they often want - these people - but are un-willing to give) but there are some good ones and I like to think that I'm one of them. I talk to God in these situations, there is my good friend, I'm never lonely there.

Anyway... Be happy inside, you sound like a caring person who's a bit flummoxed by the world and know that you are not alone in this!

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