A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been talking to a guy for a little over a year and a half now. We waited 8 months to even have sex. We decided we wanted to take things slow. Well about 7 months ago things weren't going right....mostly a lack of communication and we quit talking for 2 months. We are talking again, although not having sex. He told me he isn't ready for a relationship and I am. I have 3 children (not with him). Lately he has been acting funny...a couple weeks ago he showed up unannounced to my house (he has never done this before). Then this week I told him I am going to have to move due to a job offer I got that I've been waiting almost 2 years for. My kids have become really attached and even asked him to be my boyfriend. Since I have told him about the move and expressed how hard it is going to be due to how I feel about him and my kids feel about him, he has been acting funny. He isn't returning calls or acknowledging a text. Why would he do this?
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female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (26 February 2011):
 He already gave you the answer to your question...
He isn't ready for a relationship and he wants you to move on without him.
We as woman seem to have a big problem truly hearing what the men in our lives are saying to us. Why do we keep taking the smallest thing they say and tryinh to make more out of it then there is? Wishfull thinking I guess, but it doesn't help anybody for us to do this.
We need to start listening to and believing what they are actually telling us. I don't want a relationship means I don't want a relationship... Your probably a great person, your kids are probably great too which makes it hard for you to understand, I know. But men are different from women and your being a mother only magnifies that difference. You are searching for a father figure and provider and a place to nest. He was looking for a good time while it lasted. Well I'm truly sorry but it appears its over now and like it or not your going to have to find a way to move on without him.
The best you can hope for it that after you leave he comes to his senses and realizes what he almost threw away. But I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you.
So go ahead, take the new job and move with your kids to the new place, It will be a fresh start for all of you.
Good Luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2011): Why did you both stop talking? Communication is key in a relationship and you have to start at that time you stopped talking and why this happened.Evidently the guy has feelings for you, most guys want to jump into bed not wait for sex. You have 3 children, that must have been difficult for him. Maby he understands what a major commitment it is to love you and your children. I feel that your man has got cold feet, realised what a major commitment he has to make,and is probabley not ready for that(he's scared).You may be but unfortunately we cant make others feel the same.I know how horrible it is to be blanked by a man you want answers and you are not going to get them from him,it looks like he had emotionally cut off, because it's probabley easier for him to do that instead of contacting you and hearing how hurt you are. Men dont do things like us women, they put a wall up and thats that. You will find a good man in time who is mature and ready for a commitment and will be happy again. you and your children deserve that. I have been there. you deserve only the best. xxx
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