A
female
age
51-59,
*lo50
writes:I knoticed at my church that my single pastor is constantly looking at me..when I look back at him he quickly looks off..when he is preaching .he stands right in front of me and preaches while looking straight at me .women sitting in front of me have literally turned around to see who he is staring at.I to am single to..He never acknowledges me nor speaks to me when he enters the room..but will always come to the person beside me or in front of me..and.. start talking..I like him and am a bit confused on his behavior towards me it like mixed signals.When i do speak to him he goes off into some zone staring into my eyes like he cant get his words out right.help me understand Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2016): Oh my goodness that is so cute.He does like you but is shy and maybe afraid you will reject him.Ask him out for a cup of coffee and see where this goes.Good luck but I think you will not need any because it will go well.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2016): He doesn't realize you notice his staring. He thinks you can't precisely detect his gaze on you, but he turns his head the minute you look back. I'm often cautious about taking a stare as any real indication someone is attracted.
They might find you odd-looking.
As a clergyman, he must be discreet; and may not be sure of the most respectable approach. Nobody gossips like church people, and nobody will rush to judgement as fast as they can! So he's keeping his distance and enjoying the view.
He also has to be mindful of approaching ladies in the congregation. Sometimes women get spurned when things don't go exactly as they want them to go. Then drama ensues. He could lose his standing in the church, and tarnish his reputation.
Introduce yourself. If you bake, bake him a pie or a cake.
This will break the ice and open some conversation. Compliment him on his sermon, be sincere. If he doesn't catch on or continues with mixed signals, ignore them. Sit a few pews back, don't give him the pleasure of staring you down; without the courtesy of at least approaching you as he does the other women. There should be a limit to tolerating goofiness and putting up with mixed-signals.
Staring is impolite. Look back and tilt your head. That usually breaks staring when it makes you uncomfortable.
Make sure that you're not the one staring him down too hard. Sometimes we blame the other person, but you do know he's single. You might hope he's focusing his eyes in your direction, but you just may be in his line of vision. You seem to make it your business to be in the pews closest to the alter, and making yourself visible. How else would you know for sure he's looking at you?
Is this all by coincidence?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 June 2016):
 Keep trying to talk to him, and hopefully he will eventually come around. If not ask him out for coffee and see what his response is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2016): It sounds like he does like you but may be he's very shy.
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