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Why is my Mum playing games with "my" guy!?

Tagged as: Family, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 December 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

I love my Mum to pieces (she’s my best friend) but yesterday she really annoyed me - big time! Although she has a downer on men in general (not fair, guys, I know!), she has been encouraging me to get to know this man that I like which has been really supportive of her.

However, I’ve been feeling really low lately and the only thing I had been looking forward to all week was seeing this man again, who was due to come around to the house on business, and my Mum knew this. So what does she do? I came back from an appointment yesterday and she just flippantly says ‘Oh, bad news I’m afraid - I arranged for him to come around while you were out’ like it didn’t matter, when I had specifically asked her to arrange for him to come around when I was at home because I’d like to get to know him better.

On a previous occasion this man said that he hoped he would see me again before Christmas and yesterday was that day.

My mum told me that he drove over to our house in world record time (which I imagine was because he was thinking he was going to see me).

My mum maintains she did it because she doesn’t like bills hanging over her head but I know it could have waited until the evening. It just feels like she is ‘rubbing my nose in it’ by saying these things.

Any ideas why she did this as I can’t believe the reason that she gave me? (I can categorically say that they are not having an affair, in case anyone thought that!). It really hurt me that she did this, particularly as she knew how I felt.

I now know that I won’t see this guy until some time after Christmas and it makes me feel really low not knowing precisely when I will see him again.

View related questions: affair, best friend, christmas

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A female reader, julls +, writes (16 December 2005):

Hi there

If there is anything this guy would want to have with you then he would do his best to talk with you. Couldnt he see you after hours. cant you see that your mom is keeping him from you? she could be right but if she is not then the dude should get his acts together and sacrifise to make time with you. Moms always do things to annoy us but believe me she is just trying this guy's power and it seems like he is not fighting at all. from experience my boyfriend and my mom would spend the whole day chatting on the phone everytime he calls me and going to movies just so he stay away from me. I feared because my mom was single but after having spend a whole day together he would call me and to assure me of his love for me, it really took guts to convience my mom that what ever she does he want to be with me and she is now a happy mother in-law. girl does he know how you feel? did he show any interest in you? does he make an effort to be with you even if it is just for five minutes? if the answer is "no" to one of the questions, lady move on and give your mom the benefit of the doubt.

good luck

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