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Why is my date not contacting me now?

Tagged as: Dating, Faded love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 April 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 April 2008)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I met a friend through a friend, and we went out to a club where he asked for my number saying that he'll be inviting some friends over and would like me to come too.

Anyways I couldn't make it, then later that week he asked to go for drinks which we did, and we had a really good time, then he sent me a text saying he had a great time and would like to see me again, the following week we went for dinner which was great and a gppd night kiss turned into a heavy make out session, which we both really enjoyed. eventually we left and he sent me a text saying he had a great time again, and that he'll chat with me later.

Problem is that I've felt that he has become distant, his texts less frequent, if i want him to text me, I must send him one first, he is busy with work, I know things are hectic there, but i cant help but feel that I've been pushed back, and its makes me really sad.

especially since he made the first move, and now I'm feeling hurt and dunno whats happened

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008):

Yeah well if you got that feeling that he would not want you anymore if you pushed him away then that was your gut telling you something was wrong. And your gut instincts about people are usually right. So in that case, yeah it sounds like this guy might have just been using you from the start. He wanted to see how far he could get with you, kind of like a conquest. Now that he feels like he had you in a way that was enough for him, he dropped you like a rock.

This kind of stuff happens all the time. Alot of single people out there treat dating like a conquest or a game. They can sense that you are naive or vulnerable and they use that against you to get what they want out of you. So from now on it is up to you to trust your instinct. You heard your instinct the first time but forged ahead anyways. So from now on, not only listen to your instinct but be more picky about what you tolerate. If you think a guy will end things with you if you don't make out with him that is plenty good reason to dump him for making you feel that way. So just set your standards more higher and you'll be fine.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008):

Thanks anon, my only issue is that he made the first move, I was shy and it was only kissing and holding... do you recon i gave in too easily? I was worried thinking that if I pushed him away that he'd not want to see me again, but now I dunno wots happening.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2008):

I think the problem is that he lost interest because he sort of got what he wanted when you two made out. Maybe he thought you were a little too easy and there is nothing more that is of interest to him about you cause he saw enough. It happens alot.

Before you two made out, he thought you were kind of intriguing and mysterious. By making out with him, I don't know what happened, but obviously it was too soon and it wasn't the right time and the inadequacy of the timing kind of turned him off.

But I wouldn't sweat it if I were you. He probably is dating someone else anyways. In any case this guy sounds like a jerk and he's not worth you sweating him.

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