A
female
age
30-35,
*ebeccaa
writes:So i have a boyfriend who i havn't been with for long. The other week i met one of his friends who i will call 'M' he seemed realy nice at first.Then i went on holiday for a week with my family and one of my friends. When we came back my boyfriend, 'M' and 'M's brother who i will call 'C' was waitng for me outside my house. We went out with them for abit and when 'M' went in we found out he had been saying some horrible things about me and my friends while we were on our way home. That night me and my friend confronted him about it on facebook we sent him a private message asking why he said them things, but he sent neither of us a message back. Then he carried on saying the horrible things to 'C' and my boyfriend. He started talking to me on facebook saying how ugly i am and how fat one of my friends is. I had a huge argument with him on facebook in private messages saying how i control my boyfriend and that i need to get a grip. Then he told my boyfriend i'm only going out with him because i dont like being single when acctually i like being single. Why is he behaving like this? What is the best way to deal with it?
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female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (1 August 2011):
Rebeccaa is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thankyou everyone :) My boyfriend believes me and says he does not want anything more to do with him so thats a good thing x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011): M is no friend of your boyfriend's; for whatever reason he's trying to sabotage your relationship. He accuses you of being controlling - sounds like a serious case of projection to me, he's the one who apparently wants to dominate your boyfriend's love life! Perhaps he feels their "friendship" will be threatened by you simply because you're his girlfriend, maybe he's just a destructive person who can't bear to see other people happy. It's not always easy to tell for certain the motive behind a person's actions, what matters more is how you deal with them and the trouble they're causing.
You need to be open with your boyfriend at all times to avoid letting misunderstandings arise between you; show him the Facebook messages and chat logs so he can see for himself what's been said. You have to make sure your boyfriend realises that this two-faced individual is (presumably) trying to manipulate him into breaking up with you. It's only when you yourself know you have a toxic friend that you can make yourself immune to their poisonous behaviour - preferably by kicking them out of your life sharpish! That, however, is your boyfriend's call. I hope it all works out for you. Good luck and take care x
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A
female
reader, VSAddict  +, writes (1 August 2011):
 Just ignore it. You're in the relationship and he's not, so he has no right to say anything. So just block him from your page and have as little contact as possible with him.
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A
female
reader, Brokenhearted19 +, writes (1 August 2011):
 It's obvious that the friend is miserable and very jealous of your boyfriend. No need to argue with him if you know the things he is saying is not true. There is always gonna be that one friend to hate on someone else relationship. He is really trying to break up your relationship but the question is do your boyfriend believes him??
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A
female
reader, kutieaag +, writes (1 August 2011):
sounds like he is jealous that your taking his friend away from him. Or that is friend is in a relationship and he is not. What I would do is give your boyfriend space with his friend and if he asks why be like " will I didnt want to be controlling" see what your boyfriend says. Because secertly maybe your boyfriend wants to be around you all the time but has to act tough and cool in front of his friends.
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