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Why is love so unfair for some people?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2009)
A male Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I told this girl how I felt before summer, hoping to spend time with her and to get to know her a little better; I asked if it would be okay to pursue her; but of course... of all things, she doesn't feel the same way. I was surprised and have been miserable since. Still miserable now. I honestly didn't know how to respond to her when she emailed me. 3 months later, I emailed her back and told her that I respect her choice, I understand, and that I'll do what I can to be there for her only as her friend and nothing more. She never wrote back. But I do see her in class. Maybe she's just being nice because everyone else is there, or maybe she doesn't want anything to do with me.

What should I do? The feelings are still there, and now she knows that I like her, and it's kinda' awkward that we're in class together again.

Is it possible that women change their minds? It's so stupid that I have to pretend that "nothing happened". I really have fell out of Gods hands, too, as I really felt she was the right girl for me. But eh.. Because of this rejection, I'm beginning to believe that things do happen in coincidence. There is no reason. There is no purpose.

haha.. I can't believe I used to believe in what could be love. The last her and I hung out, I thanked God for something so beautiful in my arms. And that was her...

Only, again, to find... That she doesn't feel the same way?.. And now I have to just be her friend?..

It hurts. And I'm really starting to believe that in order for love to actually happen, love also has to NOT happen for many people.

I, unfortunately, am the one of many who can't have love, so people CAN have love.

It's all balance and it hurts like no other. I would do anything to just erase her from memory.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009):

I have more-less the same problem mate I know what you mean. Just try and be there for her as a friend. maybe one day she will like you more than a friend but chances are that you're in the friend bin like myself and theres noway out

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009):

It hurts so much. I would do anything to let this girl go if she's not meant for me.

In class, I act like I don't even like her, yet, I still smile and talk to her.

When she needs help, as much as I'm hurt, I still go up to her. It takes my breath away when our hands touch. We're both multimedia majors so there is a lot of clicking with the mouse. haha..

But wow, it's crazy just a slight touch can give me butterflies when I remove her hand from the mouse.

It's crazy how I fell for this girl out of nowhere. I didn't even like her at first.

it's crazy to find out she doesn't feel the same way though.

It's crazy that I still have no gotten over her. Yet I still talk to her because I want to be there for her when I can.

*sigh*

God if you really exist. Erase her from my memory! Why did I even meet her in the first place?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009):

Congrats on having the courage to tell this girl that you liked her :)

However, you shouldn't ask a girl whether it's ok to pursue. You just go do it. There's less chance of getting ultimately rejected that way.

Imagine a guy who will become a successful leader one day. It's a given that that will happen.

a) He tells you his future. He tries to convince you but there's doubt in his voice and demeanour

b) He tells you his future with certainty, and since he is so sure, he comes across as not worrying whether you believe him

Who would you follow? I'm not saying you should boast about your future. I'm talking about how you feel when you communicate. How do you feel about yourself? Can you feel better about yourself and your future? It's all about self esteem (not about your ego, however)

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