A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why is it that it used to be that nice guys finished last. But it seems like now nice guys don't finish last, they don't finish at all, and are prevented to do so? I'm really just looking for girls answers. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (26 December 2013):
Please don't look for answers here from women. Many, even unknowingly, will tell you one thing about this, while all the while doing the complete opposite.If the answer you are looking for is "why," then its simple - our social evolution has not kept up with our biological evolution. Way back in our early history, a woman maximized the chance of her offspring by being with a man who was strong, aggressive, alpha-male, etc. "Nice," in fact, was probably quite a negative trait when it came to survival. Ergo, these were the men women desired. Fast forward several thousand years, survival isn't as hard as it used to be thanks to our increased technology, but the evolutionary relics persist. It is what it is.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2013): Go look up Jenna Marbles "nice guys dont finish last" on youtube. That should give you some answers.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 December 2013):
 giving out your number is not going to net you girls calling.
women will more than likely NOT make the first move.
even in the 21st century it's more common for the man to be the aggressor and make the initial call.
Rather than giving out your number you should be collecting the numbers of women you want to get to know better.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 December 2013):
Well, I can tell you right now that you shouldn't bother giving your number to a girl unless you got hers as well. Even if she's interested she'll probably never call you, women prefer to be chased, not do the chasing. Especially when they don't know you.
A key thing is to not be afraid of rejection. It's really not that big of a deal. It's like they say in sales, every "no" puts you one step closer to a "yes".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thought I did some good by handing out my number to girls I would meet, then I never got any voicemails, texts. It's just hard for me since its the holiday season and I was just hoping that as I do go out hopefully some girl would connect with me, I don't know how to be non- socially awkward, or display sum sex value, confident. I really don't need any more bad news in my life, I've already missed out on the college phase, lifestyle, I'm just trying to see if I'll ever be able to have my first g/f or date, it's true that over the years I've just been on the sidelines secretly having a crush on a girl, getting to know them. But then it ends up being the friendship zone, last time I got advice on here awhile back about how to end the friendship zone, but she only ended up not talking to me anymore just so my feelings weren't hurt. I was going to say though, it doesn't seem like girls in the 21st century have really made up their mind about not focusing on guys as being nice, confident, outgoing, sex symbols. I chose to be nice when "friends" kept trying to talk me out of thinking about romance. They only wanted me to focus on lust, so instead of being an ass like them, I decided I wasn't going to try to find lust unless it was with a girl I was dating first plus unlike my friends I got sick over the idea of leaving sum girl high and dry because I know the feeling, but I don't know anything much besides my lack of general experience. Maybe I'll never find someone, but hope that there's more decent quality girls compared to the grody parties around my town, and surrounding colleges.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 December 2013):
 Yours is a very wide, vague generalizion and I think every Aunt on this site could pipe up " not true, I have personally met X number of nice guys who ended up in pole position ". But, let's take it as a factual truth and say that nice guys do finish last. Why ?
I'd say, define nice . What do you mean by nice ? Polite,clean,shows up punctual , can hold a job, addiction-free ?....
That's surely good, in fact I'd say it is the bare minimum for any woman with some common sense or out of her teen years ( when a fascination with " bad boys " is sort of inevitable ).
BUT . are you nice and boring ? Nice and dull ? Nice and lacking of self confidence and assertiveness ? Nice but you have zero personal magmetism and send out zero sexual vibes ? Nice but painfully shy and devoid of social skills ?
Nice is... very nice :). But alas it's not enough. Just nice is good for your brother, next door neighbour or favourite coworker. Not for a wannabe lover.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 December 2013):
Are you looking for sympathy or answers?
By your depressing logic every nice guy in the world is single. Do you honestly believe that to be true?
The problem is that some guys, particularly "nice guys", think that being nice should be enough to have women want them. It's not! Not even remotely. Many women do like nice guys, probably most of them. But they don't want a guy who sits there being nice while the world passes him by. They want a nice guy who's not afraid, who's confident, who's interesting, charming, etc, etc.
If you aren't asking women out regularly, then this conversation is over until you give that a shot. Spark up a conversation, ask her to get coffee, etc. You can't wait forever or you'll get friend zoned.
I'm a nice guy who's had decent success with women. One of my friends is nice and not at all good looking, but he's had amazing success with women.
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