A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex of three years and I broke up seven months ago due to him cheating. And I'm still completely messed up about it. And yet, he was able to get over me within a few... hours? It's so aggravating and it kills me inside even more! I hate feeling this way!They've since broken up, but he's only willing to hook-up with me and nothing more. I've unfortunately complied... many times. Why is it that a guy can get over a girl so easily but the girl is left feeling like shit for years? I hate being a woman sometimes.
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female
reader, junebug81409 +, writes (5 February 2010):
i never understood it.i think bcuz you was in a relationship for a long time and in your eyes everything was fine and out of nowhere your lover is sleeping with someone else.its crazy!im married and to this day when i think about my ex bfs i still get pissed bcuz we dated for yrs and they went off and cheated.i mean i love my husband i dont dwell over my exs but just time to time just thinking ya know?girls are more emontionly and guys just seem like they have no emotions.lol over time it gets better but if u wouldnt have went back messimg around with your ex its the best feelimg turning down ur ex exspecialy if they have cheated on u.good luck
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (5 February 2010):
 Guys tend to break the emotional bond a while before the actual break up and they do not need emotion in any physical pleasure. Now I do not mean all guys, its just how we get stereotyped, but he seems to be one of those guys. Plus if he cheated he was already involved somewhere else so at that point I would consider him over the relationship even though you two were still together.
I'm sorry for how bad you feel but you need to get this guy out of your life and not hook up with him at all. He doesn't deserve you. Get back out there and you'll realise that you are better off without him. A new guy will come around and that will help things along.
I hope this helps and that you find your way out this state of sadness soon.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (5 February 2010):
 I might also add that your ego has been bruised...so in the end this might not even be about him...you're upset that someone can treat you like this, that someone didn't see the worth in you, etc.
You can't change the way he feels or acts or what he did. You can only change YOU...and that starts with you realizing that he's nothing and that you're better off without someone like this in your life.
All the best :)
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (5 February 2010):
Women tend to be more emotionally involved than men...hence the longer it takes to get over someone. This is a generalization though.
You shouldn't hate being a woman...you should think and deal with this like a man.
He cheated on you, therefore he is not worth your time. He's below you. Don't hook up with him...it's not helping you. The man has cheated on you, he's not in a loving relationship with you and yet you give him your body? He's using you at your expense. He's not emotionally involved with you anymore and he can do this until the cows come home. You can't because you still have feelings for him...whether you still love him or whether you're just really hurt about the whole thing...it doesn't matter which it is...either way you're still emotionally involved. And until you do something about it yourself things won't get better.
You need to be strong enough to walk away. You need to stop hooking up with him, cut him out of your life completely...he doesn't deserve you or your company. Move on, meet someone better and leave this guy alone. He's only causing you hurt and wasting your time.
If you want to get over him just remember how he disrespected you...and continues to do so.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2010): first, help yourself by not hooking up with him again. you are feeding this horrid feeling by doing that more than i can say.
second, it's not just guys that get over stuff in 5 minutes. women can do this to. it's a matter of attachment and dependence, rather than gender.
in this case, i'd say he's been using you for the majority of your time together, and you were always on a different page than him wanting something more than just sex and fun.
so i have to say again, do yourself a favor. stop hooking up with him. another angle to your post would be this question: why do some women who want more than just sex, keep having sex with guys who are only using them for sex?
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