A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all.A quick question.Why is it that most men think they can flirt with many women, think it's their God given right to appreciate many females because they are men, but not accept it if a guy flirts with their wives or girlfriends? I have noticed a double standard. It seems okay that boys will be boys and they can have some harmless (or not so harmless) fun with women when they are in a relationship, but if their wife or girlfriend is receiving attention from males or shows interest in another guy, even if it is platonic, men can't handle it and start sulking like little babies. Why is this???
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (17 September 2011):
 I see just as many women out there who believe they have every right to flirt with guys, dress up sexy only when they're going out in public, or - in a few cases - to paw at and kiss gay dudes because it "doesn't count." These same girls get pretty jealous when their man flirts around, though.
It's not a societal double standard, plenty of people differ on what they think is acceptable. Plenty of guys would condemn other men for doing it. It's a personal double-standard - the guys you've been choosing to date see things that way, so that's what you experience. People, all people, tend to follow the old parent's maxim, "Do as I say, not as I do."
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (16 September 2011):
 It isn't ok.
Define for yourself what is 'ok'. If your 'man' is flirty, that gives you permission to enjoy attention, too. If he calls you on it, ask him to point out what is different about your behaviours and his, especially if you are just at the receiving end.
Remain cheerful. And once you’ve asked the question, you don’t have to debate it. You know you are right and so does he; and sometimes silence is golden.
Good luck. ;-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2011):
This is because men know how other men think. Simple as that. I think most women would be horrified if they knew what actually went on in our reptilian brains.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (16 September 2011):
 Because we live in a patriarchy, that's why.
Though I'm not a huge fan of her in general, Jessica Valenti's book "He's a stud, She's a Slut" is great shedding insight on this.
Also this quick blog post:
http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/what-is-slut-shaming/#double-standard
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