A
female
age
22-25,
miss foster
writes:hiya i really don't know whether i should say something a year ago my boyfriend (of 6 years) lost his sister she died very suddenly at the time the way he coped with the grief was to lean on his ex wife they supported each other. I couldn't do right for doing wrong at the time i wasn't allowed to the funeral or wake instead she went in my place and even went in the family car he didn't explain why just expected me to understandit's the anniversary and all the family arranged a family meal which i'm not allowed to attend although she isshould i say something, i know he is upset which is why i feel like i cant say, despite all that we have two children together and are happy but i just feel like he's either still in love with her or that he just doesn't class me as his family and if he doesn't what should i do???please help xx
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female
reader, Ask oldersister  +, writes (24 February 2008):
 I'm sorry that you have to go through this but if you confront him about it, he will rely on his ex even more over this. Sometimes when a family is mourning over a death, they are drawn closer out of shared memories and grief. A lot of times, they just want to be around others that were also close to the loved one. I wouldn't interfere at all and I would let him know you understand and respect how well he is handling things. When you do this, he may even start opening up to you more about it and your job is to just listen and not take charge of his grief process. However, if he starts to rely emotionally on his ex over any other issue, this is where you take a solid stance! Absolutely not over your dead body, no pun intended!
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