A
female
age
30-35,
*imzyluv
writes:Ok... My boyfriend of a year and one month is a sweetheart, but lately he has been absent mindedly hurting me. For example he missed my last performance of the first show that I was cast as the lead in, now he did this to go to a friends birthday party, this I find acceptable but what he didnt tell me that it was a girl's birthday party... the one girl that I do not trust around him (he knows I don't). The next morning (Valentines Day) I called to see how his night went, and he revealed to me he spent the night at her house... it was certainly a rough start to that particular holiday. Then last night he had her and more girls spend the night at his house on the night of what would have been the celebration of the whole 1 year 1 month thing (We typicaly try to see eachother each 27th of each month to show how much we value each other)... and this morning instead of telling me the truth he lied to me twice within 8 hours of when he hurt my feelings the night before. He has been busy going to the Rocky Horror Show with these girls and his friends 6 tinmes since Febuary... Along with this, he has broken off dates to hang out with these friends. He goes to a different school, and from March until April they will get to see him every day... Only one or two of this group of friends has met me before, and he hasnt invited me to meet the others yet... It seems I have allowed him more into my life then he has allowed me into his... On his Birthday I saw him for a grand total of 4 hours which consisted of lunch with he and his mother driving from shop to shop and being dropped off, after which I did not see him for 2 days... He has been making excuses and diliberately not telling me things lately... and finding out about these things hurts twice as much as it normally would if he just told me... I'm lucky if I see him once a week during the school year... and now he is late to almost every time we see each other... I know most people will tell me to talk to him about it but the problem is I have, I have talked to him 8 times within the past 2 months about his recent lack of consideration twoards me, 6 of which I ended up crying during, and 4 of which he cried and apologized. I love him so much and have never kept anything that I believed he had a right to know from him, including the things that I know could make him unhappy... I am trying so hard... Why is he doing things that he knows will hurt me then lying to my face about it...? He claims to have never cheated on me and I believe him. But how can someone conciously hurt the one they love...? I feel like he is stepping on my heart... Each time I talk to him he says something awful, like "I just can't learn from my mistakes, Relationships aren't about compromise", and that my asking him to be considerate of my feelings is asking him to change who he is. Each time after I ask him about what he says he didnt mean it that way, and I believe him when he says this... I dont know what question to ask in regard to this, a hug alone would be nice, he still loves me... but hasnt been showing it in the actions that have caused me such pain as of late... Why is this happening? Don't tell me he doesn't love me please I know he does... I just need help, how do I bring back my sweetie? What do I do to make him listen?
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female
reader, Mimzyluv +, writes (30 March 2010):
Mimzyluv is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for your advice!
A
female
reader, YourDestiny11 +, writes (29 March 2010):
 Sorry to say but it sounds like hes just keepin you on the back burner. He knows ull be there but hes lookin for someone better. Alot of guys do this and they are jerks. Put ur foot down or end the relationship and move on.
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