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Why if my FWB partner angry now that I told him I am involved with someone else? He is!

Tagged as: Friends with Benefits<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 February 2018) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 February 2018)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Been fwb with this guy for three years. He is the only guy I been intimate with the last three years. Recently I meet this new guy I been spending a lot of time with. We became intimate and I informed my fwb. He became distant after he found out. He refuse to hug me, we no longer have sex, his attitude is really bad now, and he refuse to let me touch him.Mind you he sleep with other women. I have no problem with it. Why is he angry with me?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (14 February 2018):

aunt honesty agony auntHe doesn't want to share you, but he wants to be with lots of different women. He is a hypocrite. Honestly if things have not progressed in three years he sees you as nothing more than a sex toy. Best thing to do is end this friendship. It is not fair on the new guy you continuing to see a guy on the side.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (13 February 2018):

That's really a good thing. He should get the hell out of the way.

Men are territorial about our sex-partners. We don't like the idea of some other dude sniffing around our favorite sex-buddy. He should pull-away when you're seeing someone else: because it offers you an opportunity/option to do the same. Give each other space. Then you can explore your feelings and pursue real romantic-prospects; unencumbered with concerns about what he's doing or thinking.

He can be jealous, but that's no indication or proof there is any emotional-attachment. He doesn't want anyone else trespassing on his "property."

Let go of former lovers when you find someone good. They don't deserve your games and bullsh*t. You'll grow old alone and regretful. You'll deserve the karma.

If you're building yourself a "love-triangle" you are also creating a built-in drama-system. That also brings on distrust, and will sabotage anything real and good that can happen in your life. Personally, I don't date people who have exes for friends; or travel with f*ck-buddies from their past. You feel like a third-wheel, or an intruder into their little world. I don't go for that. That's my prerogative! I bring no baggage or drama, and I take none!

The needy-greedy little ego in us says we can have it all. Our cake and eat it too. A backup, should one fail. Convenient, and great in theory. It's also indicative of low self-esteem, shadiness, and insecurity.

It might seem like a good idea to keep your FWB as your training-wheels, or your "ride or die." Just in-case other guys don't workout. You will grow an emotional-dependency that will cripple you emotionally. You will always need him as an emotional-prop or band-aid when you get rejected. Got to develop your own resilience to pull yourself back or out of a rut, sweetheart!

Eventually; he will find a match who will completely object to your little arrangement, and she will cast you out. He will want to get engaged, and where will that leave you?

Keep hanging-on, and your feelings will start to attach. You better learn to to fly without a safety-net. You'll fly higher without the extra-weight, girlfriend!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 February 2018):

Honeypie agony auntBecause he liked the idea of you being off the shelf. He doesn't LIKE the idea of another dude putting his penis in you. He doesn't like SHARING you.

Honestly? The expiration date for this FWB is way past so why keep pretending you are friends and why do you keep trying to hug him?

Just cut him off, you got what you wanted from him and he is no longer interested...

ALSO have some respect for your budding relationship. I don't think many people (men or women) would be very keen on dating someone who is holding onto a "friendship" with someone they used to fuck. To be really frank. No, let the ex-FWB guy go.

Focus on the new man in your life.

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