A
female
age
36-40,
*ixieGwen
writes:I'm super anxious.My bf hasnt called me in 3 days (he normally calls daily)Sometimes he forgets to call back after we've talked already -which is fine (rarely).. and he doesnt really need to call everyday but the last time we talked (Sunday) he had told me he has head cold and asked how i was, what i did that day, and then told me that the following day he was gonna go to a doc appt and then prob sleep all day.So i called him the following day(Monday) and left a msg - seeing if he felt a lil better but I havent heard back and usually he phones back.I keep thinkin the negative like , maybe hes breaking up w/ me, or maybe something happened to him, or maybe he's incredibly sick.We've only been together for over a month and hes met my mom(he wanted to), met my friends, hes talked about what itd be like if we lived together (more than once), we spent the wknd together this last wknd..hanging w/ my friends and it was also our first time having sex.I was incredibly nervous and i had a fear he'd disappear. Although the following day wasnt any different. he was lovey dovey as usual. and like I said..we talked sunday.So i guess he's stickin around.So im just tripping..wondering why he hasnt called. and even though its prob nothing.. i cant help but think of negative crap..im trippin right? I'm trying my hardest to think positive but then i start to think.. maybe im a fool for thinkin he's just sick..and hes doin somethin else. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (30 July 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question i called him a bit ago.he answered/was asleep & he said that he had been sleeping alot/still sick.He said that he didnt know that i had called n left msg and said that he wasnt online. He takes care of his mother/they live together..so he said that he was prob still logged in and that considering he wasnt online it was his mom that was in his email for a min..(accidental of course)
he also didnt seem bothered by me calling..he just sounded exhausted/sick.
he said he might call me later tonight after he sleeps..
considering he hasnt picked up any other time ive tried calling.. i believe that hes telling the truth..because if he was tryin to avoid me/lying..why pick up? (he has caller id) and its the house number..not a cell phone im calling.
thanks for the responses. ive got to not worry soo much..and if hes sick..and doesnt call for days or doesnt call for a few days in general.. i shouldnt trip n think the worst.. its something im goin to learn how to not do..
its hard as hell though.
A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (30 July 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont request for him to call me daily. he would call 2x a day..and now he still calls almost daily..over every other day. i dont require it but i dont expect that if i call..he should return my call. the last time we hung out everything was fine..and the next day aswell..so i find it hard to believe that hed just decide not to talk to me anymore..or break up with me..
we've been dating for over a month..we recently became a couple. although he thought we were a couple from the get-go.
considering he wasnt seein anyone else and didnt want me to either..which i wasnt.we used to hang daily for awhile...and now we hang occassionally.. - nothing wrong w/ that.. but something weird is goin on..
i saw him online today - sent a hey how r u doin msg.. and he didnt reply/signed off 5 min later. So i called and it just rang and went to the answering machine. He takes care of his mother and so he lives w/ her. last time that happened where i msged him online - no response/so i called and no response..and he was staying w/ a friend because hes not on the lease/mom had an electrician over..
so this reminds me of that time..not sure whats goin on..but ill call later tonight. hes never been the type to ignore me. he usually calls back, calls frequently, is brutally honest..whether i like it or not.
so i dunno.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): How long were you guys dating before you got into this relationship? I always tell people that an emotional connection is far more important than a relationship or marraige. It takes time to develope feelings for another person...at least for some people. It could take months to a few years for someone to actually love the person enough to commit emotionally.
It's ok to let 2-3 days go by without talking to a person, but no longer than that. I don't think it's a good thing to call a person everyday, several times a day and I also don't think it's a good thing to rely on texting and emailing as a way of contacting someone on a daily basis for I think it's a lazy form of communication that is meant to keep a person at a distance. Well...nothing is wrong with distance, but not in that manner.
Find other activities that way you don't sit around thinking about this relationship so much. If your boyfriend sees that you have other interests besides him, he may see you in a diff. light and start calling you more often.
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (29 July 2010):
 Well, even if sick or busy, he could talk to you, he's not mute or something, so there's no excuse. You have the right to know if he's still alive, right? :)
So, my advice (I've been there, so it's probably the same), carry on with your daily activities, there are plenty fishes in the sea, I know it's simple to say that, but some men aren't worthy of your concern.
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A
female
reader, katieleeds  +, writes (29 July 2010):
I would suggest that you "pop" round to see him, but there again he might see that as bit possessive or paranoid ! Give it a couple more days, if he's still not txtng back then move on, it's no great feat to send a txt, failing that it would be easier just to speak to you than send a txt, sick or no sick !! By the way, he's not married or living with someone is he ? Would check that out if I were you. Good luck !!
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A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (29 July 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionalso...he hasnt even been online (as far as i know). and usually he checks his mail or somethin.
thats weird for someone to play sick though & he wasnt feelin well the last time we hung out.i dunno :/
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (29 July 2010):
OK, my ex-boyfriend refrained from calling or contacting me after he realized I wasn't cooperating at all for the relationship (I was cold towards his love gestures), so he invented something like a flu, feeling awful, frostbites (yeah, I know it sounds stupid), when I called him (I was very worried that he didn't contact me), he said "You woke me up" and shitty things like that. Until one day I never heard anything about him. So he was basically ignoring me without having the balls to tell me he doesn't want me anymore.
But I know it was my fault, I didn't know how to express my feelings in return.
I don't wanna discourage you, but try to fill you free time hanging out, think that you have a life, with or without him.
Good luck :)
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