A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been friends with benefits with a guy for nearly three years. He not seen anyone else and nor have I. Over the coming months he been kissing my forehead, or holding my hand after sex. Recently we had sex and he we were talking and came over and said I wana kiss you and kissed me. After this he left as his mate rang and had an emergency which was genuine, ever since then he hasn't spoken to me even though he arranged a meal the other day but when I rang him he never answered, I've text him and nothing, I feel like he's gone cold but I don't understand why? Have I done soemthing? Has he got a gf that he doesn't know how to tell me? I don't get it.
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friend with benefits, kissing, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 December 2016):
 That's the thing with Fwb you should only do it if you feel you can handle it. It looks to me from your post that you have caught feelings for this man. You need to be honest with him and ask him where you stand. Don't end up hurting yourself even more by going along with this set up.
A
female
reader, clueless8989  +, writes (23 December 2016):
In my opinion, he's probably just done with the fwb and decided to move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2016): It's exactly what FWB is all about. He's done.
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A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986  +, writes (21 December 2016):
I hate to say it sweetie but I think the guy was using you. By trYing to get inside your pants. Since you both had sex with eachother. He is probably finish with you. I don't want to hurt your feelings but it might be true on why he is not answering your phone call or your texts also. He probably had a idea to seduced you into having sex with him and would bolt afterwards.
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A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (20 December 2016):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) It's something more beneath the surface, personally... I don't think it has anything to do with you at all. He may have other things going on in his life and is trying to focus on them.
I would try to give him another call and arrange another day to talk with him, from the way you're talking about it I can sense you are starting to like this man beyond the intimacy. I've never done anything like this, I've heard stories of one of the two involved growing a fondness for the other.
If he doesn't plan on having anything serious, then it'd be better to let go now before it turning into heartbreak. But by his urgency to leave after that phone call only leads me to suspect he is tending to something deeper.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (20 December 2016):
 Ask.
In my opinion FWBs should last no longer than a year (the shorter it lasts, the better) because feelings get involved - especially when exclusively having sex for three years.
Ask him.
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