A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Everytime i have sex i dont ever experice an orgasm, at least i dont think i do. Dont get me wrong i love having sex and it feels soooooo good. People say that all of you muscles tense up and everyhthing but i never felt that. After we have sex, my right side goes numb sometimes or i shake a little but i dont think thats from an orgasm. Also when he goes down on me, i dont really get that much pleasure from it (at least not like everyone says) Is there something wrong with me?
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female
reader, talker +, writes (5 July 2008):
 When you have an orgasm, you know it. If you have to wonder if you had an orgasm, then I would say you haven't had one yet.
Now about the going down business, I don't really enjoy that either. There's nothing wrong with it. For me, I know that I just don't like the idea of someone going down on me because I'm insecure about that area. A couple of girlfriends have told me they feel the same way.
Sex and orgasms has a lot to do with our minds. It might be that, although you love sex (who doesn't), you might be a little reserved about it and that's causing you to not let go completely. Or it could be that he's just not doing it right. Like I said, I have never enjoyed someone giving me oral but it might be that they couldn't find my spot. Don't worry about oral. However, not having an orgasm during sex...you might want to try getting on top and working it out yourself. It's a lot of exercise but it'll help you find what you like and what makes you cum. Let go of all your inhibitions and just ride. Best advice, although you might not be into it, is to watch porn and takes notes. It helps to see how other people do it.
When you masturbate, do you orgasm? You might want to to do that. Once the two of you are having sex, you can do that in front of him and there's your orgasm. Then you can continue having sex and see how that works out for you.
If all else fails, then you might just need a different guy. ;-) LOL.
Hope that helps. :)
A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (5 July 2008):
 All the women on my mothers side orgasm easily (never asked my husbands side!) So I always assumed everybody did it. It was in my late 20's after talking to girl friends, work colleagues etc etc that I began to realise I was one of the lucky ones. A large percentage of women either experience no orgasms at all or can only achieve it through masturbation, clitoral stimulation or oral sex.
I have masturbated for as long as I can remember and know my own body so if the bloke didnt get it right I would guide him until he got did. Not all positions work for me, intially only missionary, I've since added me on top to my repetoire and am working on the others! Fast furious 'school boy' sex does absolutely nothing for me.
The first thing to do is work out what makes you orgasm alone, then try new positions, angles, speeds, a lot more foreplay etc etc to try and achieve it. If you had already had one my dear you would KNOW! x
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (5 July 2008):
 Get in line.
many women don't have an orgasm through conventional sex.
do you masturbate? i'm guessing you don't.
and if you're thinking.. EWWW no... GROSS..
well suck it up and learn it.
If you don't know what you like who the hell if your bf or any guy you're with going to know?
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