A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and i have been together for over two years now. We got engaged a few months ago. He was unemployed at the time. Now he has a job but doesn't want to set a date any time soon. He said he would let me know when he was ready to set a date. He has been living with his parents since he quit his job. What should i think of this?
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male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (24 March 2010):
 He may still be saving up for a wedding. He may need more time to be 100% sure.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 March 2010):
Some men just need to take a little time over it. However, some men also propose and then get nervous and commitment phobic, so don't set a date. I suggest you give it a time limit (say 6 months), then have a discussion with him about it again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): Not knowing the man or your relationship history it is really hard to say why he won't set a date, but the fact he just recently found a job after extended unemployment and is still dependent on his parents for a roof over his head would tell me that financially he just isn't ready to make that committment.It would be up to you to determine if he is in fact ready for marriage. Set a deadline in your own mind (don't tell him what that is) and if he can't come up with a wedding date by then, tell him you understand if he isn't ready to get married and he can take as long as he wants to decide but while he is doing that he can't have you all to himself and tell him that you are going to put your focus on you and do the things you need to do to take care of you.By implication, he will understand that he needs to step up to the plate or risk losing you to someone else.But really, is he ready to have a wife if he is still living at home? How long do you think it will take for him to get back on his feet? And does he want to? Does he like saving money living at home with Mom and Dad? As long as you are willing to wait, he won't be too motivated to step it up....possibly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): Give him time. Men need more time than women when it comes down to marriage. Dont push him and go with the flow for now. Did you consider that he's maybe trying to save up alot of money for this marriage so it could be perfect for you?!
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