A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear agony aunts and uncles,I am currently friends with a girl who has the same name as my ex. Me and this girl have been spending so much time together in the summer and getting closer. We are not exclusively goin out but we have kissed once. And I do want to ask her out. The problem which you guys may have realised is the fact she has the same name as my ex. Is this such a big issue? I do consider myself "over" my ex (we didn't end on good terms, we don't keep in touch and have no feelings for each other whatsoever). I know I can move on but with a girl with the same name? Friends might think that I'm only after her cuz she reminds me of my ex but this is 100% not the case. I adore this girl heaps and really do care for her and love her for who she is. Or is this some sort of underlying psychological issue that I have due to the same names? Am I being over paranoid?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): thank you all for your answers you really did out my mind at ease.. and Big Ron, that was actually funny.
A
female
reader, raiders  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 It really shouldn't matter, not sure if your familiar with Ben Affleck he is an American actor, he married Jennifer Garner, and his ex girlfriend's name is Jennifer Lopez. He is famous and didn't care what people think, so you should follow his step and only worry about what you think and what you feel.
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A
female
reader, SweetindianGirl +, writes (12 October 2010):
well, its normal to pick someone with a similar name or a name with a similar nickname as the one we dated before, its to keep a part of the past with our present .
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Definitely over-paranoid.
If both girl's name were,say, Mary-Euphrasia, well, yes, that would be disquieting.
But if she is a Jane or Elizabeth or any not too unusual name, what's so strange about it. It may happen.
What do you care about what your friends think ? You love the girl and that's all it counts.
If her name really bothers you, you could always choose a nice nickname for her.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Who cares what your friends think. If she's someone you like, once they meet her they'll realize how cool she is. Don't let something as small as a name stop you from going after someone you like!
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (12 October 2010):
 It doesn't matter what your friends think, and if they are real friends a brief statement should fix whatever doubts they may have. Also, does this girl know about their shared name? If so, the two of you could probably come up with some kind of joke to play it off. I've often found that heading off this kind of thing yourself takes away any of the joy someone may get from picking on you about it. Kind of like the fat guy making his own fat jokes.
You're being overly paranoid. This kind of thing happens sometimes. I wouldn't worry about it.
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