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Why does she feel the need to contact guys she use to have sex with?

Tagged as: Dating, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 April 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 April 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello all,

I have a bit of a silly question, really I probably should not be worried, but something in the back of my head is telling me not to ignore it.

A quick history lesson: Me and my gf have been together for about 8 months now, about 2 weeks ago moved in together, last week I found out she had been hanging out with her x bf and a couple of guys who fancied her in the beginning of the relationship. She assured me that it was only in the beginning and when things between us started getting more serious she cut off the ties to them.

Now, last night I got home and jumped online to do some work. I opened the computer and I seen that she was still logged into myspace... And yea im an asshole, because I checked her messages. I didnt really read through them, or anything... But I did see one message, from another x, which she was writing to. It was very non sexual or intimate but... It went like this:

Her: "So, have you ever imagined yourself to be the 80 year old man who gets online and checks his myspace everyday?"

Him: "lol, no but I do enjoy my space, how are ya? Anything good"...

And that was it, nothing more. But this was last month... And she messaged him first, and not only that but she must check his account enough to know that he logs in on a consistent basis.

What really confuses me is that if she is truly happy with our relationship, why does she feel the need to contact guys she use to shag? I did not say anything to her about it, and I probably never will because I should not have done what I did... I just want to know what could be going through her head.

Any ideas would be appreciated.

Thanks

View related questions: moved in, myspace

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A female reader, Jmo United States +, writes (22 April 2008):

Jmo agony auntComing from a girl who pretty much only has guy friends but is also in a long term relationship, I have to deal with this often. A couple of my friends I've had relationships with and several I've slept with. My boyfriend gets upset with me for talking to them and hanging out with them, but damn, they're my friends. They were my friends before (actually mutual friends) and they're my friends now. Seeing as how you looked at her account and found nothing incriminating and you haven't mentioned any odd behavior on her part, I wouldn't worry about it. Jealousy is a very unattractive personality trait and causes some pretty ugly arguments.

Hope I could give you some insight.

-Jmo

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