A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.Can you help me figure out why this guy seems to treat me differently from our other friends.We hang out in a group of friends. I see him checking me out all the time from across the room or looking at my butt etc. He smiles at me a lot and laughs at my jokes and we make intense eye contact. I thought this meant that he finds me attractive. But when we are in the group, he tends to ignore me and talk to all the others but not to me. Why would he do this? And why would he treat me differently from the other females in our group?Thanks for helping! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): If you are hanging out with a group of mostly men, they will often overlook women in conversation. I don't know why they do it, but they do. Instead of letting it bother you, just talk to the people who do not ignore you. Once some people in a group realize you have interesting things to say, you should start getting more and more face time with the whole group.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 February 2013):
 IF he is in a relationship the reason he ignores you, is probably to not lead you on.... He may find you intriguing and attractive and feels that being friendly with you would be unfair since he can't be anything more than a casual friend, he'd rather be nothing.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (13 February 2013):
 if he's in a relationship, it makes perfect sense, seeing as how his friends would know he's in a relationship. so he goes out of his way to keep them in the dark about being attracted to you. he probably doesn't want his friends to see him flirting with you and either judge him or it get back to his girlfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): If the group in general is a little closer to you than him, he may feel intimidated to give you these signs in front of them. If the friends are more 'his' group, he may feel some fear of rejection, and not want to suffer that in front of his friends.He flirts when you two are more alone, though? You might have to make the first move. Do something that's not 'big,' (like grabbing coffee or something rather than dinner or a movie), anything where the two of you are alone and can talk. Don't call it a date then and there, but if you're interested, be sure to follow up with a real 'date' if that's where you want to go.This one, he'll probably accept your advances (unless he's married or has another relationship you don't know about, but that doesn't seem to be the case) with far more ease than you expect. But: you'll have to initiate a lot of things in the relationship, and may find yourself having to articulate things that you'd think would seem obvious. If this is something that won't annoy you in the longer term, go for it, learn his story (which may involve him having been hurt, so be prepared for that).
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): I am the OP.
Think he is in a relationship right now. But does that mean he needs to ignore me?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 February 2013):
 He's either very shy or married. How old is he?
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