New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login225791 questions, 981757 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Why does my husband want me to have sex with a black man?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 July 2010) 8 Answers - (Newest, 24 August 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Can't understand why husband wants me to have sexual acts with a black man !! Iam soo hurt and can't understand!!

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, murphy41 United States +, writes (24 August 2010):

I am a 70 year old man and have long had a fantasy about watching my wife have sex with a black man. Why?. Who knows. Perhaps I would enjoy seeing her having multiple orgasims. Doesn't make any difference however, because my wife, who is 26 years younger than I am, is firmly against the idea. We have been married for 21 years. In my first marriage my first wife and I were "swingers" and swapped mates with others for many years. My first wife was from the American South and didn't like black men. However, a year after we became swingers, while we were living in England, I brought a black man to our bedroom late one night and he introduced her to interracial sex. She survived it and we went on to have several other threesomes with black men over the years and it was all exciting. All depends upon how you feel about race. There is really not that much difference between how a black man has sex than how a white man has sex. The size difference is mostly a myth. Sex is pretty much done the same way regardless of race.

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010):

Your husband does not respect you and therefore does not deserve you. File for a divorce the next time he mentions this silly, childish and ugly sexual act.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, blackmeister United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2010):

It's one of the many fantasies some men have, and this one certainly isn't healthy. The 'white woman having sex with a black man while husband watches' fantasy is a particularly strong one, and I can't exactly tell you why since it's very complicated, especially with the why the husband would want to watch. Some people think it's because of the racial stereotype that all black men are aggressive "very large down under" thugs who only desire wild sex with white women with which the women love. This is largely portrayed in the porn media, sometimes with the husband who is white watching nearby with low confidence about himself. It seems your husband's pretty much brainwashed with the stereotype, and his willingness for you to do it too is very disrespectful. It's a fantasy, but one you should not do. Regardless of race, such an act is immoral and very damaging to your marriage; it is no different from an affair.

There isn't just the danger of you hating yourself for doing it, but the human body sometimes uses sex to strengthen the bond with the partner. Having sex with another man completely destroys this, and you may start regecting your husband completely for other men, basically destroying you marriage.

You're not comfortable with the thought, so stand up for yourself and tell him NO. For him to suggest this is hugely direspectful to you, since it's very close to saying that you're just a sex object for his pleasure. Personally, I find it weird; the thought of having another man satisfying my wife would bring me anger, not pleasure.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2010):

Miamine agony auntAnd why a black man, probably because of the race issue you got in america.. it's something that's forbidden...

Dosen't have the same thrill over here, if he was European he'd probably suggest you have a orgy on the beach.

He can write into alt.sex.. they got tons of stories, he can write his sexy thoughts down there and be satisfied with that. It's more fun to imagine, he'll hate doing it in real life.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (16 July 2010):

Miamine agony auntFantasy, just tell him NO!!!!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (16 July 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntMaybe he wants to live out a fantasy? There are men who have the whole 'Cuckolded by a black man' fantasy. If you aren't comfortable with it, tell him so, firmly.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010):

That's definitely an odd one. Ask him what this is all about and tell him you're not OK with it, if you aren't. Where is this coming from? How long have you been married? You should be able to talk to your husband about your sex life. I agree with SirenaBlusera if this is something you DO NOT want to do and your husband can't get over it you may have a problem.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, SirenaBlusera Mexico +, writes (16 July 2010):

SirenaBlusera agony auntIs this a joke?

I'm not trying to be mean and I shouldn't judge you.

The guy's race has nothing to do with it; it would be immoral for you to have sex with ANY man other than your husband! The fact that it's a black man in particular is irrelevant.

Just tell him that it bugs you, and if he can enjoy sex without satisying this kinky fantasy then you should be okay. If he can't enjoy sex without it, then it fits the definition of "fetish" and could be a problem.

Is it a specific guy that he has in mind? I mean if I had a chance for a night of passion with Denzel Washington I'm not sure I'd say no... if he weren't married. But he is... so it would not be right :(

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Why does my husband want me to have sex with a black man?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.046875!