A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:What is going on with my boyfriend?! Is he my boyfriend?! I'm so confused. He breaks up with me every other month and gets a new girlfriend, and every time I lock myself up in my bedroom and hide from him and the world. This turns him into a monster because he can't get in touch with me. I never want him to get in touch with me because he breaks up with me for another girl. Why should I have to answer to him, when he gets with a new girl? I try to go out with other guys but somehow he finds out and makes it hard for me. He hurts my feelings and spreads rumors so that the guys and my friends think I'm crazy and that's why he broke up with me. He calls me bad names and makes me feel like I don't deserve to have a boyfriend. Then the next thing I know he's a different guy and he treats me like the most special girl in the world. It makes me feel like I'm the luckiest and most loved girl in the world. He says I'm special and I'm crazy and he loves me and he hates me. But I'm uncomfortable with the hate part. Is he joking? Why does he make me go in a circle? How come he treats me so good and so bad at the same time. He hit me this morning because I asked him how come he gets to have new girlfriend's every other month and I can't even stay locked up in my bedroom and cry or talk to a guy when he breaks up with me for a new girlfriend? Does he just hate me and that's all. I'm sad. I don't feel special. I want him to love me. That's all, because I love him and I try so hard to always make him feel special even more special then me. I'm sad. I want him to be nice to me. I'm not a good girlfriend. What can I do better to show him just how much he means to me? I love my boyfriend more than I love me. I wish we could take walks in the park sometime and he push me on the swing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): I am so sorry you are going through this. Please try and leave him. Date other guys,.. do whatever it takes to try and get away. I am 41 and still having the same issues. I am in counselling. Belive me.. it's not funny when your whole life is played out like this. Sort it out now once and for all. You are worth more than his shoddy treatment. xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): I kind of know how you feel...
I myself have recently split from a guy who one minute adores (or so he says) and the next wants nothing at all to do with me...and over hardly anything...
The best thing you can do (and wow i know its going to be hard...its tough for me at the moment) is to get rid of him once and for all...he sounds like he wants to control you and grind you down...this is NOT love...its about power...its about him wanting you when HE wants you its so selfish and destroys you...
Please try your best to get rid of this guy...or your self esteem will be destroyed...think about YOU...what You want...what you NEED...because believe me he will not be thinking of you...just HIMSELF...
My ex was selfish and totally oblivious to my feelings most of the time...he only wanted me when he felt like it...didnt give one damn about my pain or my hurt...took me for granted...lied to me...and it goes on....
But you have to be the strongest you can be...and think...RIGHT its time to get back ME...time to get some self respect and self love back...And end it...
I wish you good luck and strength...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 February 2011):
You're a good person.
He's not.
And that's the problem. You're not using your head here. You're looking at this guy, wanting him to love you, wanting to change him, wanting to live happily ever after - and you're not listening to the words he uses against you, you're not looking at his actions, you're not protecting yourself from his bad treatment. No matter how much you want him to love you, to be nice to you, to respect you, to go for walks with you, to treat your properly - he won't.
You need to get away from this guy - now. Don't waste another moment on him, because he and people around him will laugh at you, and treat you like dirt. And worse, if you let men treat you like this now, you always will and in 20 years you'll be on this site saying you've missed out on the best chances in life.
Please understand - a man WILL NOT CHANGE for anyone but himself. He will always treat you like dirt, and so will everyone else if you allow them to do this.
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A
female
reader, chita22  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 R u Serious right now? Why the hell would u let any guy do this to? The reason he hates u is because u put up w/this he lost all respect for u. U realy need to grow up and let this guy go! Why would u lock yourself in the room and cry when he's out w/another girl? U realy need to change I agree w/that but first get away from this guy F*** him who does he think he is to treat u like this! If he didn't think other guys would want to date u he wouldn't spread rumors about u like that. BTW when a guy talks about u to others and u stay w/the guy people start to believe him they say if wasn't true then why is she still w/him. Why would u want this guy if he's such a jerk. If your looking for a guy to walk in the park or push u in the swings he's not it. Trust me u need to stand up for yourself play hard to get that's what guys LOVE. Feel more confident about yourself, I bet u all the guys will fall for u. PLEASE get rid of this guy he doesn't deserve u.
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A
female
reader, ashley187  +, writes (10 February 2011):
 You are awfully young to be having these kinds of issues. Just imagine how nasty he will be when he gets older! I see you say you love him more than you love yourself and that should NEVER be the case! You need to love yourself before you can ever have a healthy relationship. Do not put someone elses happiness before your own. You say you are always trying to make him happier/feel special. Does he ever do anything like that for you? If not..you need to look for someone like yourself, you need to feel special too.
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