A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a step daughter who is now 7 years old. The problem is that she has been grinding her legs togather since about 9 months old. She has been to a doc that said it is a form of masterbation. We have taken her to counsuling they say if is a way for her to be safe.. She does it everywhere at school, home , and just about every place you can think. She really gets to grinding them her face will turn red and she grunts. We don't know where to go from here. Why does she do it and is there a kind of doc that needs to check her out for hormone inbalance or something? We want to get it taken care of before kids at school start to make fun of her.. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2008): I think it's great that you want be sure that she is mentally okay and all that. But, you should also know that she is normal. You like the sensation you get when your vagina is touched in that special way, right? Well, so does she. True, she doesn't understand the emotions connected, all she knows is that it feels good. When you see her doing this at home, I wouldn't necessarily discourage it. Everyone touched themselves around that age. But, if you want it to stop in public, try to occupy her with something else, as opposed to possibly saying "STOP THAT!". Pull out some crayons or play doh or something. Keep her occupied so she doesn't resort back to masturbating constantly. If she is stopping the things that she likes to do in order to masturbate, then I would say there might be a problem. Just don't make her feel dirty or disgusting. It's perfectly normal to explore and love to touch your body. But she has to know that there is a time and a place for that.
A
female
reader, SuzieQute +, writes (2 September 2008):
I too was told to do my "squeezing" in private. I did go to my room a lot, but then figured out how to do it in public so that no one would notice. One of my elementary school teachers did remark on my occasional "pink" face. I was probably about your daughter's age when I stopped being so obvious. Maybe she will develop some subtlety soon. -SQ
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008): Its totally natural. When I was a little girl I humped a teddy bear and I did it everywhere too! lol. my parents had to tell me to do it only in my room and I caught on so your step daughter should be able to catch on too.
Good Luck and its completely normal. :)
Jennilynn
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008): You should be happy for this because she gets pleasure from rubbing her vagina and thus might not feel the need to have sex at a young age for sexual pleasure.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): You have your answers here pal.
Teach the kid to be discreet about it and it will most likely not be an issue again for a very long time, if at all.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 You have to talk to her. Dont tell her off for this behaviour just explain that it is perfectly normal to masterbate but it is not acceptable in public and is in fact something she should do in the privacy of her bedroom. She doesnt need any treatment it IS normal but you just have to keep drumming it in to her about the privacy, just do it in a really nice way without making her feel bad. Thats what my mum did when she caught me rubbing my self up and down the stair banister at around 5 years old. She even told me it was much safer to do it on the corner of the bed, less danger of falling through the banister or getting splinters! Honestly please dont worry you are not the only parent to go through this x
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2008): I understand that this is a difficult situation and that it can cause embarrassment at times;
BUT
Please handle this with the utmost tact; if this is not dealt with carefully and in a very sensitive manner, this child will have problems and issues later in her life.
If need be get advice from a counselor as to how to deal with this best;
But
don't tell her to stop; or not do it or things like that;
try and draw her attention to something else; or call her aside and say to her in a nice way, that what she is doing is okay when she is in alone in her room, but not in fornt of people;
BUT
if she does it on her own in her room, let her be; don't make a fuss or an issue about it.
Best wishes and lots of smiles.
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female
reader, Umari Solanthus +, writes (19 August 2008):
 I doubt that this is some kind of hormonal imbalance, but more of a habit that she has developed at a very young age and carried on into her childhood.
It is a difficult area to broach, because she has developed this habits, and habits are very hard to break, but it is hard to tell her to stop because she is so young and doesn't fully understand what it is that she is doing.
To her mind, she has simply found something that she can do that she likes, and probably does not see the harm in doing it when she wants to. And because she is so young, you can hardly tell her to stop doing it because it's a sexual thing that only adults can do.
They key to this is explaining to her that what she's doing is fine to do on her own, but she should not do it in front of others, like in school. I began masturbating when I was ten years old--quite by accident, when I was shimmying up a pole to reach the metal bars we swing from. I didn't understand what it was I was doing, so I did not see the harm in it, which is why I can guess that your stepdaughter doesn't see what she's doing, either.
But, no, I don't think it's a hormonal imbalance, personally. As I said, you have to find a way to explain to her that what she does she must not do in front of others. The problem is that she will ask why and I cannot think of a way to answer that one, so maybe someone else will be able to provide an answer.
Hope I was any help.
Umari.
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female
reader, Emma'08 +, writes (19 August 2008):
 Masturbation is a natural form of lifes hormounes. Everyone has time when they feel a sexual urge and to try best to fullfill it, Some people more ofen than others it all depends on your hormounal sex drive. You may even find your step daughter rubbing against things but its only natural. However, if you feel more conserned maybe seeing a local GP could do the trick. Try not to worry, its one of the most natural things that humans do.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 August 2008):
 I know this can be an embarrassing problem. I knew a little girl who had that same problem. The parents didn't know what to do. She would do it while watching TV in the living room, with everyone else around, even visitors like me.
There is no hormone imbalance in your step-daughter, nor anything a doctor or anyone else should treat. The girl just happens to enjoy masturbation, like everybody else, and she does it because it's pleasurable, like everyone else finds it to be.
The only "problem" I see here is that she could be a little unaware that this kind of things shouldn't be done in public. Perhaps you can find someone tactful who can tell her this in an indirect manner. All she needs is to see she shouldn't masturbate in public.
The girl I met eventually learned that she should keep her masturbation private. So, even if you can't find a tactful person to tell her, she will learn that behavior herself. I know it's embarrassing, but it has a solution.
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