A
female
age
30-35,
*elloMonkey
writes:my boyfriend and I were on a break, well we kind of got back together now but the thing is he doesn't call often, we see each other once a week. when i ask him what's the deal he says: "I want to be with you, if I didn't I wouldn't want to come back together again, but you need to change, you should call me too, you have to show me that you want to be with me" I know I didn't give a 100% in our relationship I'm sometimes hard to understand, spoiled and just wait for him to call me, to ask me out etc . .. that's why we were on the break in the first place but I can't understand him, This Is Me and he knows that.and there's the other thing he says that it's time to have sex and we're not even together . . . or are we ? I don't think I could call him a BOYFRIEND and I definitely don't think we are ready to have sex. I don't know if I should continue seeing him I don't feel good in this situation. I'm sure I will do the best I can to make this relationship work out but . . . I don't think we have one at first place that's why I can't show him . . . what's he thinking? what does he want? does he wanna be together again or is it just the sex that he wants? what should I do ?????
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 He is not a boyfriend, but you are his booty call. Yes, he likes you enough to have sex with you, but not to make you his girlfriend. In this case however, it sounds to me like he was MORE into you before, and that you got lazy in the relationship.
My guess is that if you were to step up and put more effort into making him feel special, he MIGHT make you his girlfriend, but you burned him once already, and I doubt you will ever be more than a comfortable booty call to him in the future.
-Frank B Kermit
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2007): I hate to say it sweetheart, but yes, it sounds like he just wants sex. I think deep down you know it too but it's hard to admit it to yourself. Please on no accounts have sex with him... I'd say there's about a big chance that would only lead to more heartbreak.
And finally, don't blame yourself for "not giving %100". As you said- that's who you are! As you get older you'll grow as a person (and as a potential girlfriend) and you'll meet someone who will appreciate you for who you are and bring out all the best in you.
The guy you're seeing sounds like a jerk. Get rid of him and give yourself the opportunity to start looking for someone better.
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