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Why does he message me first and take hours to reply and barely make an effort? Should I stop talking to him?

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 March 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 March 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been speaking to this guy for about a month now, we speak basically everyday and he always initiates contact (I sometimes message him first). He's currently in a different country, but the thing is - he would message me first, I reply and he takes hours and hours to reply, he would appear online lots and lots and change his Facebook status before he replies to me. I wouldn't be bothered if he was busy and took hours to reply, but he isn't and I find it frustrating because what's the point in messaging me? We just send meaningless messages because of this, it's like he doesn't even attempt to keep the conversation going. He says that he likes me, we been on two dates, and kissed on both and he says he wants to meet me again when he comes back. We would text everyday but now we are texting every other day (like 5-6 out of 7 days in a week). I began to message him first to see if it was that I don't message him first but it's still the same!

I just don't get this behavior, he chased me from July last year and would always try to talk to me and want to meet me despite me not giving him attention so I gave him a chance this month as he seemed sweet and genuine. Why does he text me first and take hours to reply? Is he just playing with me or not intetested or what? Should I continue to talk to him?What do I do?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntAnd the time difference? How large is that?

And is his finishing up or on a master/phd?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2015):

OP here. He is currently studying abroad

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI have to ask, why is he in a different country atm? IS it for work? Or is he serving in the military?

If it's for work, how much of a time difference do you have? Could be that when YOU have time to chat HE is actually working and DO NOT have time for texting/FB chatting.

If he is serving in the military, well then his MISSIONS should come first. Many soldiers are not so good with the communication because "work" is stressful enough without feeling like they also have to entertain a GF back home or deal with her issues too. I have seen MANY soldiers sort of falling off the radar, not because they don't care, but because they feel "useless" because they are NOT there when the GF needs help, they can't FIX it. Also Internet CAN be crappy and sporadic. I remember having a Skype conversation with my hubby when he was saying he would have to cut it short as they were having mortar attacks and boom... didn't hear from him for a week (they had casualties and Internet was simply CUT off for private use).

How about you two set up some Skype "dates"? Where you can SEE each other and TALK?

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