A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi this one is for the guys. This has been happening to me a lot lately and it's really starting to confuse and confound me. Here's my question -- why do men volunteer to do something specific and then not do it? Here is what I mean. One Friday I'm hanging out with this guy and he's all "I like you so much" I was going away for a long weekend and he's like I HAVE to see you Wed. about 50 times. Tells me to call him Wed when I get back. But then I called him Wed. it's like he completely forgot about what he said Friday. He didn't say a word about getting together and in fact makes a point of mentioning how bored he is and how there is nothing to do (ouch) I let it slide, and he calls me later that night, we have a great conversation. At the end he says "what time do you get out of work tomorrow?" I tell him 5:30, and he says okay I'll call you tomorrow at 5:30. Then he calls at 8:30, but doesn't leave a message. Another time I was going in for surgery and the guy I was dating looks me in the eye all serious and says I will totally be there for you, whatever you need. When I got home from the hospital, he says he's going to come bring me food the next day at 2 pm (I didn't ask him to do this he volunteered). Then he didn't call or come by. He didn't even call all week even to see how I was doing. I know this might sound really petty, but I could give 40 more examples (and not just dating - guy friends and co-workers too) and I'm at the point where I'm really starting to not trust anything guys say, no matter how much they seem to mean it. These guys all come across as nice, not rude. And honestly I didn't ask them to do anything, even in the way of implying or hinting or any of that. It's 100% their idea. But why bother saying it if you aren't going to do it? Why be specific when vague would be fine? What changes between the time it comes out of their mouths and the time comes to take action? How does a woman address this stuff without coming across as a hyper-sensitive psycho? I'm starting to get a bad attitude towards all guys. I don't want to be like this. Please help me understand.
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male
reader, salvation  +, writes (19 April 2008):
i make it a point to always do what i say i will do. My point being were not all like that you have just had a lot of bad experiences i hope things change and you meet someone that does what they say they will
A
male
reader, salvation +, writes (19 April 2008):
i am sorry to say your surrounded by bad guys. Not all guys are like that. Eg me a friend of mine was down at school so i offered to go get her some ice cream at break so i made a 30 minute journey in 15 mins runnin and got it her it made her feel happier
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