A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Are they just extremely nosy or are they hoping for a certain answer?I've been asked that question by people I barely even know in the past, but I don't care about them cuz I don't know them.My concern is about my friend. She asks her boyfriend a few weeks after they got together if he was a virgin and when he said he was she started laughing and teasing him about it. She randomly comes up to me and lets me know she's not a virgin(even though I didn't ask her, nor did I care) gave me details and everything but I'm not gonna get into that.One night me, her, and 2 other friends are walking home. One of our friends stops to talk to some other people and we wait on him. I don't know what made her decide to ask, but she just walks up to me at that moment and asks me all nicely if I'm a virgin. I mean I can say I am proudly, but if she has a boyfriend why is she coming up to me and asking those kinds of questions.Do you think she's nosy or is it something else or what? In case you're wondering I find girls very confusing so I really don't know
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2010): Why do they ask "Are you a virgin?"
Simple, it means "I am not a virgin (I'm cool and popular) but somehow you aren't interested in me, you are not flirting or hitting on me... why not? Must be a scared virgin"
It is immature. Its bullshit thinking virgins are shy, and non-virgins are very outgoing etc. The reason you aren't flirting/hitting on/appearing to be interested in her is beause you simply aren't interested.
Some people fancy themselves a bit too much. I am in the UK and its exactly the same here. I even met an asian friend here, who was over here temporary to study English, so we decided to meet. Somehow (although we weren't dating or anything) and for some reason she asked me. Very random. She responded after before I could answer, that it would be cool if I was as she never had one before.
Considering I already have a gf who I actually happen to want to marry one day, I know my limits, I am not a player or a love cheat; therefore, I act as a friend with my friends and not treat the female ones as a lover. Sex without love has no importance for me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): That girl is by far a {deleted} and a half with the disrespect she has. As young and immature as she is, people often find ways to deal with things they are uncomfortable with and that is usually humor. People laugh or make fun of things they do not understand. Who cares if ur a virgin? good for u. dont let this turn into any pressure for you as it can if ppl keep asking the question and u get annoyed. I would too. Id ignore this brod and stand ur ground like a gentleman you are. TAKE CARE and associate yourself with better girls.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): That is and isn't unusual. I'm assuming this girl is a teenager as well & lets face it...the teenage mind works in mysterious ways....ways that they don't even understand!
Personally, I know I'd never ask anyone about their sex life (or lack thereof). I mean...It's really no ones business to know other than the people directly invloved. The only person I ever straight up asked was my boyfriend, which I wanted to know for safety reasons.
I will admit however, sometimes I wonder if a certain person is or isn't...but that's usually as far as it goes. Seriously though,it's really immature to be teasing people about their virginity! If they are teasing people about it, it's obviously a way to make themself feel better.
I could think of about a million reasons why she might be teasing people about their sexual experience...none of which are really justified, if you ask me.
All in all, I wouldn't really worry about it. It is NOT a common thing for people to be asking you and you don't have to answer that question. Only do what you're comfortable with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell she teased her boyfriend about it but not like HAHAHAHA YOU'RE A VIRGIN!!! more like the way you get teased when you get your first girlfriend. She didn't tease me at all though
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 September 2010):
I've found that people who tend to ask often feel very insecure and unhappy that they themselves aren't virgins. You'll find that she regrets having lost her virginity to the wrong guy, and to make herself feel better makes fun of those who didn't make that mistake. She's probably really unhappy and insecure deep down.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (24 September 2010):
 She's nosy, yes. She lacks tact and social skills as well. That isn't a random question to be asking people. It is none of her business. What she did to your friend was horrible. So I guess I'll add that she's a bit of a bitch too.
My thought is that by making fun of virgins, it's a way for her to make them feel bad as a defense mechanism because she actually regrets the fact that she isn't.
Women are confusing, but we're just as confusing to them. I've also known men like the girl you describe so this isn't a sex specific trait by any means.
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