A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Right this is probably the strangest thing i've ever had to ask a stranger but basically i lost my virginity to my previous partner, when i was with him we had sexual intercourse nearly everyday and i got horny and wanted to have sex but since meeting my new partner who i have now been with over a year i don't get turned on at all, he is great in bed and everything is fine with him but i just don't get that urge to have sex like i used to, i just don't want too and naturally as a young girl you would think i would.We have tried going for months without having sex to see if that would boost my urge to have sex but nope, nothing.I am on the contraceptive pill and have had to change pill various times to find the one right for me which is the one i have now and so don't want to change my method of contraception, does anyone know why i don't get horny anymore?:(
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 He doesn't get you turned on, so maybe he actually isn't great in bed? Or maybe you just don't have the same chemistry with him as you had with your previous boyfriend, or maybe your current boyfriend isn't physically attractive to you?
Are you turned on by other men, do you masturbate, do you have sexual fantasies? If you went for months without feeling the need to have sex, do you mean you didn't feel like having sex at all during those months, or did you just not want sex with your boyfriend?
If it's the first, that you didn't want sex at all (no urge to mastrubate, no feelings of lust whatsoever) then it probably is hormonal. And what good is the birth controll pill if it kills your mood? Sure, abstinence is the best form of protection, but it sort of ruins the point doesn't it?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 October 2012):
 Maybe because you liked the previous guy better ?:) Sure you are young healthy and horny, but even young healthy and horny people ( hey ,even animals as for that ) have their preferences and personal alchemies. Only, often they don't know they have them.
That reminds me of my similar quandary a few centuries ago. I must have been 15, - then having sex at 15 was very unusual, - so it was not about intercourse but about kisses. I had this bf, and we'd kiss all day, and oh wow it was magic. Fantastic. Well, teen loves are short lived, so I get dumped, obviously shed a few tears , but then ... next. Onto the breach again. How long can it take to a pretty 15 y.o. girl to find another boy ? ..Not much, and actually within maybe 72 hours I had found the next. Only, it was not the same thing... his kisses were boring. They did not excite me, I COULD very easily keep my hands off him. I was astonished.. the new guy was technically a good kisser... he was cuter, taller than the old one... dressed better, had more money, was more " popular , hey, on paper he was definitely an upgrade. So how come I was not longing for his kisses , what was wrong with me ?.....
Nothing was wrong, seeing things from now. It's that at 15 or 16 , " my boyfriend " is more of a role or social function , or even a fashion accessory, than a real person. You think that A was good, but B is also good or , even, "on paper", better, he ticks all the boxes... so he MUST rock your world same as A did.
That's the mind that talks- but the body, the body KNOWS what it wants. It wants certain particular sensations, sights, smell, sounds, THAT particular vibe , that particular " brand " of pheromones you respond to. You may meet someone who apparently is perfect, does it everything right, makes all the right moves, and yet ... nothing.
Ah the wonders and mysteries of chemistry.Or of love, maybe :).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2012): He probably just doesn't do it for you OP. You could go to a doctor and see if there's a medical reason but it sounds to me like your new guy just doesn't really do it for you. you don't lust after him or get turned on by him or perhaps he just doesn't know how to get you going.
Go to a doctor and see what they say, then try experimenting with lots of foreplay and stuff and see if you can teach this guy how get your juices flowing. He's young, he may just not know his around a woman's body enough to know how to get you turned on.
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