A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do I find it hard to leave a relationship where there is no love, intimacy and no respect? I believed I was more in this relationship than what he will admit to. I work with him and live with him, I dont have anything of my own. I believed we would stay together along time. Now I am unsure of where to go or what to believe in.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 February 2008):
 Leaving is not easy because there are so many unknown factors when you are alone.You are living in a cocoon and there is protection and safety .
To venture out of your comfort zone can be a big challenge. You need to prepare yourself mentally , physically and financially before you can take the plunge.
If you want to leave, you need to plan and prepare for it.Get another job, be financially independent of him and get another place to stay and you will be on your way out.
If you cannot leave, then you need to change and accept him as he is.
A
female
reader, baby duck + ♥, writes (25 February 2008):
 NO love, intimacy nor respect? Time to leave.
I am not certain what you mean when you say that you believe you were more in the relationship than what he admits to, but I will say that what he believes is irrelevant if you feel unloved and disrespected. It's a given there is no emotional intimacy if you feel that way.
Do you have a friend to stay with until you can get on your feet? No? That's okay.
If you earn enough to support yourself, pack your clothes and toiletries and move out. Start yourself with a credit card, live frugally, and you can pay off the debt as you go. You are worth it. No one should go into debt for a luxury car or a mansion. Digging a little hole to get out of a degrading situation is not financially irresponsible.
Far better for you to sleep on a friend's couch or to have only a new bed in an otherwise empty apartment, than to have *comforts* of a home in a place where you are treated poorly.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja + ♥, writes (25 February 2008):
 Staying is easier. Leaving someone you have built a life with is hard. It is hard because you have a pattern with this person. You are comfortable. You have a home to go home to and you know what to expect when you go home. You have a person who is in your life and will likely be going to live a life alone.
The unknown is very hard to grab by the reigns but truly, if you are in an unhappy situation where there is no love, not intimacy and no respect I think you need work on changing the relationship so you get something out of it. If that is not possible or you've already been there done that then you really need to find the courage to grab the reigns of the uncharted territory. The first step is the hardest and then it just seems like things fall into place from there.
Take care and know you are not alone. Today you are only one of many people making this decision. Many of them will choose to leave for the promise of a better life.
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