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Why do I feel so down on myself all the time?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 February 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 February 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *ngel amy writes:

hia,

i know its probably just my age and so on (im 15) but i feel like im nothing - like i'll never find a boyfriend. its lke i go out places and lads looka t me and smile, but it never goes further than that. i dont see how i am ever going to find anyone without asking for randomers numbers. theres no one i know that i am interested in, i want to find a new, really genuine lad but i dont see how to find one without, the internet (which i really dont wanna do) or randomers :\

also i feel really insecure about myself lately, like i feel really fat and disgusting. i am a size 14 (is that too fat for a 15 year old girl?) big-ish boobs (which i suppose contributes to my clothes size) but i feel so fat. i have realy bad love handles - any tips of how to get rid? i try to eat healthy and exercise but i cant loose weight. i feel like no one is going to be interested in me, ever. help me please.

View related questions: boobs, insecure, the internet

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A female reader, angel amy United Kingdom +, writes (1 February 2010):

angel amy is verified as being by the original poster of the question

angel amy agony auntthanks alot, uve helped me see that im not alone, ur advice has helped me see things clearer :) thanks x

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A female reader, girl from bristol United Kingdom +, writes (1 February 2010):

the right guy will come along perhaps wait for a guy to chat to you first instead of approaching them first that way you know if they are interested and it makes you look like you are not interested in them makes them curious and more interested

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A female reader, redpopstick United Kingdom +, writes (1 February 2010):

Hiya :). The reason that you probably aren't attracting guys is because they can pick up on low confidence, and if you don't appreciate yourself why should they? There are many ways to increase your confidence. First you mention your size which could be fine for your height and build, especially if you eat healthy anyway. Keeping a food diary for 2 weeks, then switching all the meals for healthy options will help you to lose weight healthily. Try to make an effort with your appearence, wearing clothes that suit your body shape (Trinny and Susannahs book 'what you wear will change your life is amazing) and showing off your best features with a little bit of makeup as this shows to guys 'yes I care about myself'. Don't be down on yourself, guys you don't know are probably unlikely to strike up conversation, so try to develop friendships first as this will take the pressure off. Try to find a few interests as this makes you look interesting, and also concentrate on making friends with people as you never know who they can introduce you to. Please don't give your number away to randomners or people on the internet. You'll give the wrong impression that your easy/weird and sadly most people on the internet no matter what they say are only interested in sex, not to mention how dangerous this is. Your only 15, so theres plenty of time. Honestly, I was the same at 15, noone was interested and I had low self confidence, but then I decided that I was going to make a big effort to be social and at least have lots of friends. As soon as I did this and realised people liked me I got alot of confidence and guys who I'd met through friends started asking me on dates. I made alot of effort with my appearence which guys really appreciate and this also helped me. Through a friend I then met a guy who was lovely, and I kept him as a friend at first so there was no pressure and finally things developed and we've now been together 4 years, which is amazing as we get on so well. Hope this helps :) Please keep in touch on here and let me know how you get on.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010):

Changing your body while in your teens is something I would suggest you avoid. Completely. Your hormones are all over the place making it impossible to loose or gain, or control at all, and your body is not fully matured, so you can end up damaging yourself for life. Maybe in about 5 years time when you're out of puberty you can try to loose wight, but right now it's what we call puppy-fat. Leave it. Be healthy and move and exercise and eat right, by all means, that will help you later in life and make sure you have good habits and wont get sick! But Im afraid as far as weight-loss goes you have to get out of puberty before you will see an effect (be aware that if you eat unhealthy you will see the effects of that as well later on).

Now for the boyfriend issue. You are not alone! I didnt get my first boyfriend until I was 18. Its not uncommon! Its in fact very common not to have a boyfriend at your age! So relax, you are normal.

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A female reader, lizzie wooly United Kingdom +, writes (1 February 2010):

hi

i can understand the sort of situation that you are in im 13 and all of the boyfriends i have had i have had to ask out through my friends. usually it works out fine but some times if they do say no i just go up to them face to face and just say that my mates where having a joke and a laugh. but before asking you are best to get to know the guy but if it isnt quite as easy as that then see if he notices you at all in a nice way then make your move. also try to make yourself stand out a little by laughing a bit and talkng loud.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2010):

Don't worry! I'm 17 and I've never had a boyfriend or even been kissed!!! I'm waiting for the right person to come along personally... There is plenty of fish in the sea and there is bound to be a partner for you.

For your weight, I probably wouldn't say that you are fat (I'm size 14 too but am definitely not fat). You could try upping your excercise or doing excercises like sit-ups and aerobics.

Good luck!

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