A
female
age
30-35,
*Ax
writes:hello,I'd like help with something that I don't understand. this is for people who like understanding other people's behaviours. I've noticed it mostly from guys. I'll explain it with an example. there was a guy on a bus that I knew from school, who I hadn't seen for years. he obviously noticed me as I walked past him, shouted out my name and said a friendly hello. after I said hello, his face went from smiling to 'not interested' and he looked away, signalling he didn't want a continued conversation. why did he go from smiling and then soon after his facial expression was the opposite? why do guys look happy to see you one moment and soon after the greeting they don't actually seem that pleased to see you? I've had this happen to me in clubs too with people I'm acquainted with and I carry on the conversation and after the greeting they seem like they want to get away?! I sometimes am not the one saying the first hello. also, I don't know if my looks have anything to do with it. I know people find me attractive so is it intimidation?! Thank you in advance for your help :) x Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (9 January 2013):
xAx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for posting.
I do see where you're coming and I guess I was thinking too much into it :p
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  + ♥, writes (7 January 2013):
 O K, xAx,
I'll take a stab at it. At least part of the problem is the way guys think. Guys thought processes are a lot like a waffle. Little boxes all lined up. When we are in a box it takes quite a bit to get us out of it. So when he saw you he jumped out of the box he was thinking about and did his greeting routine (which probably wasn't a real box, but a short pre-programmed set of actions and words. Then he slipped right back into the old box. Guys are very good are pre-programmed responses. It's a survival technique for us.
Women on the other hand evaluate every thought and connect it to every other thought. Like a spider web. You are trying to figure out how his greeting is connected to the blank look. Truth is it probably isn't related.
Now for an in depth analysis. It appears that you are one of those people who demand full greetings including certain elements. You mentioned a shout and a friendly hello. I've also seen the handshake or hug, or even a how are/ fine exchange. Whatever it is you demand the guys in your life have programed it in and do it without thinking. It seems that you only have shallow friendships.
So advice (at last). If you think I've got a handle on your situation, what you need to do is to strengthen your bonds. Get to know your friends better know what their hobbies and projects are. Ask them how they are going. In order for your conversations to get past greeting you need to share more.
FA
...............................
|
