A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I told one of my guy friends that i got almost harassed sexually looking for support and we were close. Now Were not talking to one another and he hasn't talked to anyone or has been online. I thought he would care but he didn't respond when I told him and then I freaked out because I trusted him. He didn't tell anyone but my other girl friend was there for me and gave me advice but he just doesn't understand how hurt and scared I was. What would you do if you found out your close friend had that happen to him/her? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (17 May 2010):
 There is nothing "borderline" about that. That is definitely harassment, actually assault as raiders said. I'd recommend telling someone in the family. This is the kind of thing that causes waves, but at least you'll have a reason you don't want to be at any event he will be at. Also, good for your parents to know if this uncle comes over regularly.
Forget about the guy and his reaction... You have way bigger issues going on right now than what that "friend" did when you told him.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): I think the average man would be freaked out and not know what to do if told that...Did anyone see your uncle do that? I can see why you're upset!
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (14 May 2010):
 This a sexual assault and you should report your uncle to the authorities, and if this is what you told your friend and he said nothing, didn't comment, did not offer advise than I do have to agree with MarieClaire because even the most insensitive man would at least said go to the police....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor all those who want to know! I was forced close to the guy and he started kissing my neck. It was my uncle who did it. Plus he rubbed my legs and back under my shirt. I would call it borderline harassment.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (13 May 2010):
I guess the phrase "almost harassed sexually" is confusing me a little bit. Depending on the problem, he may not have seen an issue with it. It could also be just like the others have said and he didn't know how to handle it. What did you want him to do? Offer a shoulder to cry on. Guys rarely offer that unless they want to get with you, so that is something else that may have happened.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (13 May 2010):
He probably didn't know how to response to this problem and felt that he would do more good than bad if he just didn't comment on it. I think he does care, but remember women are more open in all areas than a men..
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 May 2010):
I think he does care. The problem is that he may not know how to handle it. Women are brilliant at offering sympathy and being there. Men can find it hard to cope with it, and often duck their heads in the sand to avoid confronting it. I think you caught him off guard and he didn't know what to say. Try talking to him again and see if he responds.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2010): How can you be "almost" sexually harassed. You either were, or you weren't. Do you use him whenever it conveniences you, and whenever he gives you advice you consider him close to you?Have you cried wolf a lot, completely exaggerated, or flat out lied? You have to understand, that I used to be that guy women went to if they felt harassed etc.What I realized was literally 90% of the time they LIED LIED LIED LIED LIED. One girl walked right up to some guy and kissed him, then lied saying he forced her to kiss him. Three months before, I was talking to a waitress drunk at a college restaurant. I was going to go home with her, but my friend called saying that her friend was almost killed by her boyfriend. I RAN over there puking on the way (while running) only to find out he had broke her side car mirror off. There were no bruises on the woman. I talked to the people around me, etc.If you have exaggerated AT ALL he probably doesn't believe you. This whole "almost harassed" business also is suspicious. What did the guy physically do to you.Did he gesture to you? Did he grab you? PSDon't lie
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A
female
reader, DricaLima  +, writes (13 May 2010):
 Since your friend is a guy, he will respond to situations a lot different than how our female friends would respond. Often times, men will pull away when they just don't know how to respond. As women, we are more nurturing with one another and we use words to comfort one another but for men it doesn't work like that. Since he cares about you, he may just not know what to say to you knowing that this has happened to you. Give him some space and time. If you are truly friends, he will eventually come around. Hope that helps a little :) Drica Lima
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