A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi I would really like some help here, am I being paranoid, or is something not right?I have been with my BF for 3 months, everything is perfect except one thing! I can count on one hand how many times we have had sex. We do everything else I.E cuddle, and kiss, I even pleasure him without returning any favours, but when I layed naked on the bed with just a tie on and asked him " hey babe come in here I need some help" he came into the room started mucking about play fighting but wouldn't have sex with me, saying he was not in the mood? now ya kinda expect it to cool down after a while but not 3 months, and he didn't complain when I sorted him earlier in the day. I feel hurt, he said its not me and that im beautiful he just weren't in the mood, am I being paranoid, should I let this one drop this time?thanks in advance
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks jessjess01 things have started to improve now so hopefully it will continue that way:)
thanks again
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2013): Hey don't worry so much, if that's what he said he might really be telling the truth - have faith. Possibly he has a low sex drive anyway, and so isn't really bothered too much about sex in the first place. This happened to me and the guy turned out to be bisexual, but now that I think about it he was a little too good to be true, in that he didn't watch porn and wasn't sex obsessed.
If you trust him, let it go, and perhaps masturbate (sorry for details) so you don't feel frustrated. I have a military partner so he bought me a vibrator for those long periods away lol.
Anyway you know him best. If you trust him, just see how it goes :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2013): If its only one time...drop it but if its reoccurring then it becomes a problem.
Its not that hes not into you sexually, but guys usually mean what they say maybe he really wasn't in the mood. Believe it or not, SOme guys don't fiend for sex all the time.
Me and My bf have sex a lot, and on occasions hes not in the mood, in some occasions im not in the mood, it happens. Sometimes I arouse him, and his lazy butt still isn't in the mood lol, But don't read too much into it...yet
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell I definitely know its not porn as he can't stand it. He don't even like it when a film has too much sexual nature to it. I had to just ask him straight out today, and he said he didn't want to say as it sounds like an excuse but its not, but he said his been feeling really tired a lot lately, and his going dr's . I said as long as his honest with me we can work on this together, his adamant its not that his not into me and that he loves me. he also said that he really don't want me to think its an excuse because its not and it shouldn't be like this. So I guess I will have to see. I love him so much .
thank you for your reply's.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (16 July 2013):
 When two people have widely divergent sex drives, they cannot reasonably expect to have a successful (love-) life... so your's (and his) "relationship" is doomed....
Chalk this up as a surprisingly-common life lesson, break up, and the two of you go on your separate ways....
Good luck...
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2013): Either he has a low sex drive, doesn't find you sexually attractive or is gay. I'm not being rude, but those are the main options. Hopefully its the first, and if so at least you still have a healthy relationship. Talk to him and try to figure out the issue with each other, compromise
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 July 2013):
 I think SVC is right, if he is not into you sexually - time won't change a thing.
He got his earlier in the day, so he felt he didn't need to return the favor because we all know that when women get men of that is the highlight for us on sex (note the sarcasm). However, some men ACTUALLY think that way. I agree it's a PORN "inspired" attitude.
I think you need to find a guy who has the same sex drive as you do and who can give as well as he gets.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 July 2013):
 he sounds like my hubby... a man who loves me but has no clue how to be a lover.
he's lazy and gets all his cues about sex from porn. and he refuses to be "taught"
my advice is that at 3 months you see your future... and know it will only get worse.
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