Why did she behave so strange and how can I move on?

A male age 41-50, *YTHOS12 writes:

I moved to a new place of work about 2 months ago and met a girl. We started texting phoning flirting and eventually I asked her out. I was gutted when she said no at first and we stopped talking for about a week. Then she started texting me again and eventually asked if I wanted to meet her for a coffee and a chat. I met her and we got on really really well. We met up about 3 or 4 more times before deciding to start dating. She was previously in a long term relationship for 4 years and she was still getting calls off him when we first met. I told her before we started dating, that I didn't want anything to start unless she was ready and made it very clear I was not just after one thing. We dated for a couple of weeks and we have found we are so alike, want the same things, want to go to the same places and I can genuinely say I have never got on with someone so well in my life. At first she tells me everything feels right, I say stuff that reminds her or herself. Everything was great and I know she had told mutual friends she really liked me. After a couple of weeks she asked if it now met we were boyfriend girlfriend and she said that was what she wanted. As it is frowned upon dating people at our work we decided to keep it quite, although a lot of people tried to get us together. 2 days after she asked about being boyfriend girlfriend her boss made a comment that me and her might be suited! And she freaked out, she spoke and told me she was concerned and that she felt I always went to hold her hand and she felt trapped by this. This was never the case as about 90% of the time it was her that took my hand. 2 day after this we met up, and something was wrong. I asked what the problem was and we went to talk. She went over the same thing again also saying she didn't know if she was ready. I asked her what she wanted to do and she said she would just leave it splitting up. Straight after she told me she really liked me and was really really attracted to me, and five mins later while I was taking her home she said she knows we want all the same thing. Later that night she texted me and continued to text me for the next week. Finally she said she could stop thinking about me and could we meet to have a chat. We met and she said she was confused about it all and maybe things moved to fast. Once I left that night, she text me saying she still liked me. So I asked if she wanted to start again and have another first date. She agreed and we decided on a day off a week away. Every day up until this point she text me but the text started to dwindle. I asked twice if she still wanted to go out on a date and both times she said yes. We went out on a date and decided to just go for a few drinks, I didn't bring up the relationship and after we had a couple of drinks she was clinging to my arm and holding my hand. She asked me about staying the night as public transport is no very good where she stays and meant I would have to have left very early. We went for something to eat and went back to her flat. We sat and talked for a while before she basically pounced on me, we ended up suddling all night. In the morning everything seemed fine and I texted her after I left saying thank you for a nice night, but got no reply. A couple of hours later she phoned and said she had a really bad hangover which she had mentioned earlier (We were suppose to be going to a gig that night). She told me she didn't think she wanted a boyfriend but really liked spending time with me and is really really attracted to me. I asked if she wanted to go out again and she said that would depend if I asked her, so I did and she said possibly. She ended up telling me later that she did not feel well and was not going to the gig. I week later I have received no more text or calls from her and I have not text or called her as don't want to put any pressure on her. I have seen her at work twice with just a hello how are you conversation. There is a gig later on this month that we are suppose to be going to but there has not been any mention of it. What should I do, What does she want or what is she lloking for. I can't get this girl out of my head which I would normally just say fair enough and move on. I can't understand why it has went from her being really into me to nothing. Any help that can be given would help!!!

View related questions: at work, flirt, move on, text, trapped

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A female reader, aunty jane  +, writes (9 May 2007):

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