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Why did my boss act so strangely when I put in my resignation? Did he think I was his stress shock absorber?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2019) 2 Answers - (Newest, 10 June 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have just recently left a job in a toxic situation and been offered one in a more mentally healthy environment, It has taken me over six months to find the new job and I have suffered considerable stress as financially could not just walk out without employment to go to, I want to focus on my new opportunity, but when I handed my resignation in, my boss refused to speak to me in the following days, even though I had been open and honest that as things were not changing that prevented me doing my job, that I had brought to his attention time and time again, and my mental and physical health was suffering I would have to consider looking for alternative employment.

It is as if instead of being an employee, in a business relationship, I was there to absorb his stress created by the behaviour of other employee's and as I was no longer going to do so he has taken it personally that I have moved on. I began as an employee and feel as if something shifted where the lines became blurred without me even noticing and the life has been sucked out of me by my colleagues and him, neither of whom care much that i am moving on or why, only that I will no longer be around to absorb the crappy treatment! I know i just need to focus on a new start but can't seem to stop dwelling and trying to understand something I expect I never will.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 June 2019):

Honeypie agony auntI forgot to add,

WHEN you start your new job, DO NOT talk smack about your old job, that is like dragging around that negative energy like baggage, it will DO YOU no good.

New job = FRESH start.

If anyone at the new job asks, say you didn't feel the company was a good fit for you. No more than that.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 June 2019):

Honeypie agony auntStop worrying about it, OP

WHATEVER he is feeling or thinking is now IRRELEVANT.

My guess, however, is that he KNOWS he failed. You brought up some issues that should have been fixed, that was probably HIS job to fix and when he didn't you not only FOUND another job but you STUCK to your guns.

People don't like to have their short comings pointed out. But really WHO cares?!

Congrats on sticking to your guns, and getting a new job.

I hope your new job will bring you LESS stress and a MUCH healthier work environment.

Screw this guy and the horse he rode in on. You are not his personal "punching bag".

You know what to do. FOCUS on the new start and a more relaxed you.

Chin up.

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