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Why did he talk about "us" if he had no intention of their being "us"?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 15 May 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hi i hope someone can help. nearly 2 years ago i met a guy on the net and we developed what i thought was a close friendship and relationship even though we are long distance. we have met up a few times and been intimate etc. just over a week ago he said he was going away with some friends mountain biking which was fine. I text him before he went to say stay safe have a good time and i'd text him soon. He replied and said 'thanks, i'll try and you be good x.' I left it about 4-5 days before i text as i'm not the sort of person to be constantly texting or phoning him, wanted him to relax etc. I never received a reply to either of my messages so decided to call. his phone was off but when i eventually got a reply it was 'who is this?' i told him and asked why he had said that, he replied that just the number came up. My thinking is that he deleted my contact details as an easy cop out for not contacting again, because he obviously wouldn't contact me again without my name in his phone. i don't understand why he would do that as we have been taking things slow because of issues in my previous relationship. before he went away he said that he wants us as a couple and for me to be in his life. please help as its stressing me out.

View related questions: long distance, text, the internet

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009):

we live about 3 hours drive away but both work shifts, he's a paramedic and i'm a nurse. sometimes getting time off to see each other is difficult but we talk on msn etc. I rang him yesterday and talked for nearly 45 mins and he seemed fine and said he wants to meet up again. iasked him why he hadn't text or called and what had happened to his phone and he said it was a poor reception. he did text me later and asked if i was ok as i seemed upset, even though i didn't cry. just said that i feel fed up and that there's something he's not telling me. he replied that if there was he would say and i should know that by now. i want to believe him as there has been no problem before.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 May 2009):

Honeypie agony auntHe might have liked the idea of an "US", but when it came down to it he didn't really want it. To be honest I can't see why he would delete or even forget your phone number unless he's moved on.

I would stop focussing on WHAT you think he is thinking/feeling. Focus on you and move on.

If he REALLY wanted to get in touch with you he would.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009):

Where in the UK are you two from respectively if it's long distance? Do you still get to see each other often? Since when has he started acting funny?

Could be that he has met someone else, and that deleting your number was the only way (however immature) to forget about you.

i'd forgotten my login detail...LOL..hence why I'm responding anonymously xD

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009):

but he's always replied before and known it was me. since he found out it was me he seems ok but im not sure anymore

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A female reader, sugar_sugar United States +, writes (14 May 2009):

sugar_sugar agony auntIt sounds like he may already be in a relationship? That seems like the most obvious reason for deleting someones number - if you don't want your partner to know you are communicating with this person.

We can guess at what the reasons may be, but at the end of the day the only thing we know for sure is that he is not the man you thought he was, and he is not worth your time.

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