A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i sleep with my defacto and thought i satisfied him sexually but the other morning very early he i think handjobed himself twice and now i feel i dont make him happy what does it mean when a guy gives himself a handjob when he has a live in girlfriend he says i make him happy.im so worryed.that i cry as im worryed i dont satisfy him enough sexually.maybe i just need to give him more alot more pleasure.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): This is utterly utterly normal! Males have a much higher and simpler to initiate sex drive. Masturbation releases that tension for men. - It's a milion times better than if he did not do it and the tension led to him cheating isnt it? It really has no bearing whatsoever on his feelings for you - I bet he'd rather be having sex with you, but knows that you'd get fed up if he tried to have sex four times a day or something! :) Anyway, I bet it's you he's thinking about when he's doing it - which means your his fantasy - doesnt that make you feel good! If it worries you too much, do it for him - I'd bet he won't say no! :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Masterbation is normal and healthy. It isn't healthy when he/she has a partner to do it with or will do it for him/her.
Now I doubt over time you will keep up with this. Sometimes, I wake up at 2 in the morning with an urge and accompnaied with an erection, would you be willing to wake up and do it then? Right now, my testicles are bothering me, to release the pressure I feel, I could masterbate. Currently, my wife has gone to work, so either I remain miserable fo a while or I masterbate.
I hope this paints a clearer picture as to why a man may fear always bothering his girl. Normally, he will be seen as having sex on the brain or she feeling like a piece of meat. Communication is important to avoid these sterotypes and to have a better understanding of each others needs.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Confront him on the issue. Masturbation is adolecent behaviour he really should have grown out of it by his age.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): I know how you feel! i live with my boyfriend as well, and he does the same thing..its not usually when im sleeping but he does it. And to be honest it bothered me a bit at first but after we talked and he told me it had nothing to do with me, i realized if i had to give him a hand job everytime he got an erection, id be a busy girl! So id rather he do it every so often then making it my full time job. My advice talk to him, tell him it bothers you, but you need to understand, hes a guy, thats what he does...unless you wanna take over that job?
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A
female
reader, LIERIN  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 I masturbate all the time, and I am in a great relationship with tons of sex! Its just something you do, makes you feel good and guys are the same!
Why do people lose their preciouse time by thinking about these things? Its stupid.
He loves you and Im sure he loves the sex you guys have together. But don't you ever masturbate yourself? I find it very wierd if you dont. Maybe he just hase a bigger sexuall apettite.
Dont worry about it. Its absolutely normal. I acctually kinda enjoy watching my bf doing it himself .. it shows me how he likes it ... did u ever try that?
good luck
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A
male
reader, TCHP +, writes (13 May 2008):
 Alot of the time the manfolk tend to masturbate before sexual encounters in order to increase the milage he can get.
And it works as well. Maybe its just something as innocent as him being self-conscious about his performence?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): Damn I hate those morning erections. But that's the way guys are built.
They wake up in the morning, hurting and in pain and need sex. It dosen't matter if they had sex all night, or just got back from an orgy. It's just a biological thing, like wanting to pee when you first get up. Your living with a young virile man, it's his natural body response and nothing to do with your performance.
If you want to help, then try helping him masturbate, or start making love to him, early in the morning. Men especially like it when they wake up to a woman making love to them.
Your a lucky woman. I hate sex in the morning, I'd rather sleep. Unfortunately my ex prefered to make love to me than to take matters into his own hands.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2008): It is hard to say unless you know what is going through his head. The best thing you could do is talk to him about it.
As a man, I know I can have urges at different times of the day; not sure why. Doctors recommend at least 5 squirts a week to keep the prostate in good condition (when he has an infection there, he will understand). The other thing depends on the relationship. If he gets/has the impression that his girlfriend doesn't like quickies (the urge requires quick release), he will masterbate. I know I've reverted to masterbation, otherwise my wife will accuse me of either having sex on the brain, or she is just a piece of meat to me. When a guy gets this urge, it is dificult to get the brain to be romantic and less of an animal. It is a guy thing.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (13 May 2008):
 Hi,
you are 30-35 and you didnt realise men masturbate even in a relationship? Do you honestly think that men stop masturbating when they are in a relationship?
I find it hard to believe you have never realised men masturbate before.
I hate to break it to you, but I cant recall ever hearing about a guy quitting masturbation just because he is in a relationship.
Just face the fact that it is a natural thing to do, and it has no reflection on you and your performance or desirability.
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