A
female
age
36-40,
*ixieGwen
writes:Lately I've been ocassionally talking to my ex via txt. Last time we saw each other (3 mo or so ago) we had a discussion bout us being tired of the dating scene, we never had real probs in our relationship and he made it seem he was open to date me again but his life was a mess at the moment so he wanted to see where we went (he seemed sincere and he's always been honest w/ me so I believed him).Well he disappeared for 3 mo and claims all this crap happened during that time (loss of a friend etc) and suprisingly through all the crap in his life he met someone.I was annoyed cos I felt he lied about possibly giving us another try.What bothers me is I have no clue why we broke up in the 1st place and when I asked him he didnt have a real answer and claims I was great to him.We rarely fought, we got alot too well (no other man has made me happier and he said the same about me)So now both of us are dating other people but I still want to hang out w/ him.I really enjoy his company.When he brings up his gf he calls her "the girl".Like "Ive been hanging with the girl and her boy".When we first started chatting he brought up that he was dating someone right away. I felt he was throwing it in my face to get me jealous and at the same time he doesnt talk about her like theyre together.. its like " the girl.. and her boy" not "my gf and her son"I find that weird.he also asked if i was dating someone (he worded it differently though)So aside from his odd wording bothering me, i guess i have unresolved feelings or maybe i just miss his companyWhy would someone end an incredibly good thing and date people who treat them like crap and then talk to that "good" ex and rub it in their face that theyre with someone but talk about their current sig. other in a weird way.
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (27 April 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question the "no longer feeling it" reason was pretty much the one he gave me.. and then later on when i asked him recently why we broke up he said he didnt know..
i just found it odd..cos it seemed the better our relationship got and the fact i was goin on a 2 wk trip.. made things worse.i dunno if he thought i was gonna cheat on him on my trip - cos he broke up w/ me that wk..before i left.(hes been cheated on in every relationship) i know i cant understand someone like him..
but i guess it was worth tryin to figure out why things ended the way they did..
ill just keep it on a friendly basis..cos i definitely dont want any added stress or heartache.
thanks for replying :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2010): This happened to me too! Makes me wonder whats in the water?! We dated happily, then he split with me and got with someone new. We tried to stay friends but we can't do it. Cause everytime we do, we cry and kiss.
Anyway, when you've been with someone for a while and nothing is really wrong, it makes it harder to draw lines in whats an acceptable friendship afterwards. I understand you miss your ex like crazy, but he chose to move on, and although it kills you, you have to let him. He made the decision to be with someone else. I am in no doubt he misses you, and possibly has feelings for you still, but he let you go, so you let him go.
If its like anything thats happened to any of my friends, or myself, he'll regret it, and ask for you back,but until he can do that with an honest and full heart, it doesn't mean as much. Stop contact for a while, or reduce it, and move on to happier times.
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