A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I asked him out and he said that he wanted to go out with me maybe next weekend. He said that he wanted to go on a real date with me maybe on a Friday or Saturday and that he would see me tomorrow at lunch. I sent him a txt a couple hours later. He never responded and he didn't show up the next day. Why did he seem interested and all gung ho to go out with me and then just blow me off? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 May 2010):
 Thanks for the background information.
I'm sorry to say I don't know what happened. I would think, however, that I wouldn't expect J to have any problem dating you. You have to get started to a good start and ask him to be upfront.
Maybe he thought you were not really that interested, and that was why you were saying you'd go out on a date a "distant" time into the future?
Maybe he is hiding something?
Ask him what is going on. I'm sorry I can't help you more than this.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHere's the story. there's an update at the bottom. I work in a neighborhood with a lot of construction workers. I recently found myself intrigued by construction workers i.e. the work they do, the clothes they wear, the union they are a part of, their rugged manliness..etc. So, I wanted to befriend one and be able to ask some questions. I found the perfect opportunity. I noticed at lunch time there was this older construction worker who was always by himself just enjoying his break. One day he was sleeping on on a steel beam on the ground and some tourists stopped and took his picture. I got a kick out of this and so the next day, I went up to him and said hi and told him about the tourists taking his picture and how amusing I found it. He laughed and then for a few days after that, I would pass by and say hi to him but would not stop. Finally I stopped to talk to him and we started chatting everyday. I was actually really attracted to him but I found out that he was married and decided to ask him if he knew any single guys that he worked with. He said that he did know a guy. I will call the older construction guy I befriended G. The next day when I stopped to say hi to G, I noticed that he's got a guy with him and I was surprised ...I said to myself.."wow, already." So this guy he introduces me to is super-cute. Let's call him J. J, G and I are all chatting and J is engaging me in conversation, asking me questions and is lively. The next day G tells me that J thinks I'm pretty. I give G my number to give to J. J waits a day but sends me a txt on a Friday at lunch time telling me that it was nice to meet me and will hopefully see me on Monday at lunchtime. Monday comes (this Monday) G, J and I are all chatting, laughing and having a nice convo. G leaves the convo early so that J and I can chat. We chat. J mentions all of the things he has going on and how busy he is for the next month and asks when he's leaving "so, I'll see you tomorrow at lunch?" I said, "yeah, sure." Tuesday comes (this Tuesday) and before J arrives, I ask G if he minds if I go for a walk with J. J arrives and we all chat for awhile and then I ask J if he wants to take a walk. We pass by some of his construction coworkers who are perched on an elevated platform. I notice that they are all looking at us and I ask him if he knows them and pointed out that they were all looking at us. He said that they were his coworkers. They were just staring and smiling at us. J and I take a walk and as we get closer to where we part ways, I say: "so J, I know that you mentioned that you are pretty tied up for the next month. I'm also pretty tied up as I just acquired a 2nd job but I think that once our schedules open up, we should go on a date. What do you think?" He says, "I was just going to ask you out also. I was waiting for the right moment." I said, "Well, I beat ya to it." J tells me that he would like to go on a date with me and would like to go out sooner and not have to wait until the month is over. He says, Maybe next weekend. I would like to do it on a Friday or a Saturday...you know..go on a real date. I said, "yeah, we will set it up. you can txt me or whatever." He said, "or I can just call you and then he made a joke about "you do have a working number, right?" He mentioned that until we went out, we would see each other at lunch and that he would see me tomorrow. A couple hours later, I sent him a txt that said, J-I'm 32. Hope you like older women :)... (Before J arrived and G and I were chatting, I asked G, "did J ask you how old I am?" G said, "I told him that you are 32 and that maybe you added on a couple years bc I told you that I was 50.") I thought that I would send him this txt in the spirit of openness but also to see if he would respond. He never answered my txt and he never showed up the next day, Wednesday. Today, Friday I get a txt from J asking me if I was around for lunch. I did not respond until 4 hrs later. I said "Sorry I missed you today. Let's meet next week." FYI: J is 28 and is not married.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 May 2010):
He could have just suddenly changed his mind and not felt bad about it. I'd try to contact him again. If you don't get a response after that, then don't bother contacting him again. After that he will need to contact you and prove to you that he's worth your time.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (14 May 2010):
 Who knows?! Maybe he was not feeling well; maybe he suddenly got busy, there could be a whole host of reasons.....anyway, as Danielpew says, why don't you post again and give us more background as to how long you've known him, where did you meet, do you work at the same place, etc.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (14 May 2010):
Could you give us any background?
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