A
male
age
30-35,
*estern3589
writes:So guys, I've been stuck for five months now on one girl, lets call her M. I really need someone to read this question carefully, and give me some good advice. I really need help with this, more than any relationship.I used to barely notice M, I was dating a girl for 6 months and I was serious about her at the time. However sometime in April, me and her broke up, and she started dating her ex 4 days later. I thought I was never going to be happy again, and for weeks I was miserable. Everyone in my class was worried about me, than all of the sudden M told me something that made the situation so much better, and gave me hope.From that day, me and her became really close friends. We hung out on weekends, we talked all the time and walked with each other during school. And at the time, she was dating a guy on and off, that shes been with for 2 years. And as me and her got closer, I started to get feelings for her out of nowhere. I told her that I liked her one day, and she ignored me until the end of the day, then gave me a big hug and told me she was sorry.So I accepted what happened, and summer came along, and me and her spent more time together. Then one night she told me she liked me, I was ecstatic. A few nights later me and her were on my back porch and she told me,"I don't think we should date", then she kissed me, and I felt so alive, I felt like I was in a dream, I would give anything to have that feeling back now. We were friends with benefits for awhile, then she ignored me for a few days then told me she didn't want to be friends with benefits anymore. At the time she was on a break with her boyfriend of two years, and broke up with him as well the day before.During our friends with benefits, she told me she didn't want me to tell anyone, and that she didn't want to lead me on.She ignored me the rest of that summer, up until senior year was about to start, and we became friends again. Like it never happened, I never stopped thinking about her. I still had feelings for her. I told her that, and she told me that we can never be, and im one of her best friends. Her personality is so flirty and adorable. She has such a natural beauty, she is such a weirdo and odd person and is just like me. We have so much chemistry its ridiculous. Everyone thinks we should be together. I can't stop thinking about her, its been five months and I don't anyone else but her. I've pushed several girls away because I didn't feel what I felt with her.I've been in 6 relationships before, maybe I romanticized all of them, but not M. I know how I feel about her, and all I want is her back. She's opened my eyes and I've never felt that before. Theres still a chance she likes me, I know, there has to be. I need to find it. Someone please help me figure out what to do.
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male
reader, Western3589 +, writes (15 November 2010):
Western3589 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you everyone so much.
She's a very confusing girl, ad she's tol me before she didn't like me when I told her I did, but she really did. But your right, there may not be a defenitive solution.
Thanks guys so much
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): And to add more to what JMC930 is saying, it seems like this girl has major relationship issues. Do you really want to be with someone like that? It sounds like she's messing with your head, and you deserve better than that.
Do yourself a favor and move on and forget about her. Have respect for yourself and find a woman who will love you and treat you with respect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): Jmtmj has it right, I think.
You have to move on from M. She's flat-out told you she doesn't want to date you.
Consider how she's treating you, and whether you'd want that in a girlfriend:
She was OK being "friends with benefits" with you while her relationship with her boyfriend was on the rocks.
She told you you two could never date, and then kissed you, THEN told you she didn't want to lead you on.
Would you really want to date a girl like that? It sounds like you've romanticized her a lot, rather than seeing what's in front of you.
You'll find someone just as "amazing" as M is to you, but you have to open your eyes.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): ~Be her friend, nothing more..and if you love her, there's nothing wrong with that..but..BE HER FRIEND, NOTHING MORE..and if she tries to woo you again, don't hurt her feelings and be mean to her..just be honest and tell her you think it would be better if you two simply remained friends..and..that way you won't feel bad or anything if you meet another woman, because you two will still be friends and she won't view your change in affections as betrayel.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I hate to rain on your parade dude, but sometimes when somebody is trying to tell you something, THEY'RE ACTUALLY TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING...
"she told me that we can never be"
You're tackling this problem like there is a definitive solution, which there may not be. She's tried dating you, she's tried being friends with benefits with you and they haven't worked out for her. What does work for her is you being one of her best friends... if that's going to mess with your emotions then maybe you should let her know that you can't JUST be friends with her.
Sorry to be blunt, but if you keep holding onto hope that she's like a padlock and all you need to do is find the right key for her to be yours forever- then you could be in for disappointment after disappointment after disappointment.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): Hey you had already had romanced 6 persons and been dating a girl for 6 months when she broken M had been dating with you now she is ignoreing you ah whether M had not like the girl you had dated 6months when you broken up she had you as hers, M also liked you very much and she then knows she had not in the state of with you as yours, you had said that she had dated a person 2years so she ignored you or go and speak with her why she wat not willing to be clear accept all that given by life then only life is happy,may be if you meet another person you get better feel than M you dont think about the past ok Good Luck
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A
female
reader, milk and cookies +, writes (15 November 2010):
western3589
Give her room. She sounds confused and very immature. Don't push offer friendship and be a strong man. Show her you have a good job and are going places. Have self confidence that attracts everyone. Let her know you care but not mushy.
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